Robin and the Blue Jay
by Mister Melancholy
Summary: A series of short stories revolving around Ciel and Alois. 20: There are only three words that can describe someone like Aloisia, and those are sexy, naughty, and bitchy. fem!Alois/fem!Ciel
1. Robin and the Blue Jay

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Robin and the Blue Jay**

Ciel was ready to admit that he was no skilled dancer. Though Sebastian tried to teach him once, he still could never be as graceful as the truly talented ones; he could only stand by and watch in amazement at the elegance of feet tapping on the floor, bodies bending in unfathomable ways, and hand motions fluidly following the rhythm of the gentle, calming nocturne. He couldn't say he didn't mind though. His talents fell elsewhere as the Earl of Phantomhive, and he need not worry about such trivial things as dancing.

Well, at least _he_ shouldn't. But what about as Robin, a beautiful young lady clad in the finest pale pink fabrics with little girlish emblems abound, such as ruffles and roses and cute little ribbons? Why he was forced to where this again, he couldn't exactly recall; but either way, a lady of her stature was expected to know how to dance. Though, Ciel found that as long no one would dare approach her with an invitation to do so, then he would be fi—

"Hello, milady. Care to dance?"

A surge of cholera flowed throughout the entirety of Ciel's body. He turned around, meaning to take note of the face of the horrid person who would dare ask him to dance, when he suddenly stopped, mouth hanging agape. That very person was exceptionally beautiful, with blonde locks curling in the gentlest of manners, soft blue eyes that shone with merriment and amusement, placid skin that deemed fragility and would immediately crumble the moment one would touch it… and that very person just so-happened to be a _girl_. Ciel was speechless, his mind racing with questions such as, _"Why would a girl ask me (who is currently dressed as a feminine persona) to dance?"_ and _"Why does she look… familiar?"_

The blonde beauty seemed to notice the befuddlement in Ciel's flushed face, which caused him in turn to smile, bemused by such a scene. Eyes sparkling with that very amusement, he could sense that the blue-haired lady was having thoughts as to why another "lady" would dare have the courage to ask her (… or rather, far beyond his knowing, _him_). Thus, the blonde decided to take action and seize the blue-haired lady's wrist, dragging her on to the middle of all the dancing people. Then, with one swift motion, the blonde steadily placed his arm around the girl's little waist, his free hand intertwining with the girl's free hand. He then took a firm step backwards, and the girl almost fumbled into him. His amused smile grew even more amused as he realized she had no idea how to dance!

This girl was definitely an amazing mystery, suddenly showing up here and taking the spotlight in an instant. And there he was, dancing with such an enigma, smiling at the fact that she lacked the ability to dance. "Just… what _is_ your name?"

"R… Robin…" Ciel whispered hesitantly, taking in a deep breath as the blonde dragged her feet professionally across the entirety of the building. He was struck with awe to the blonde's skills of being able to "dance" with him; he figured that only Sebastian would have that sole ability, to mask his lack of dancing skills.

The blonde smiled again, tightening his grip around the young maiden's waist, whispering softly in Ciel's ear, _"Blue Jay…_"

.

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**Just as the title entails: a bunch of drabbles revolving around Ciel and Alois! Love those little guys to bits! I might add on to this particular one, though, but that really depends on my inspiration (which I lack right now). Also, I'll be updating this whenever I get a new idea for a short and sweet Ciel/Alois, which is pretty often. **

**Oh, and by the way… this is officially my 50th fic! Time to celebrate! :D**


	2. Swan Song

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Swan Song**

_Death…_ It seemed to stalk Ciel endlessly, never once hesitating on taking a short hiatus or even a moment for break. It loomed all around him, grasping the ones he loved with a single hand, dragging them with ease to their unearned ends. It even followed him in the form of his own butler, who will inevitably take Ciel's very own life after their contract has finally been met.

_Death…_ It was a cruel thing, though most often overlooked in everyday life. Most people don't slave themselves over fretting over it. When someone in their life has passed away, they mourn and grieve of the loss, and that's when people most think of it. Even, at the last minute, when their lives are in danger, that's what their minds automatically think about. Fear takes over. Darkness consumes. A bit of pain overcomes them. And then they're lifeless—absolutely _lifeless_.

_Death…_ It was looming in the eyes of the beautiful blonde, laying atop a mess of hideous, withering roses. Though his seconds were narrowing down to his final moments, a small smile still found a way to etch itself on his lovely, tear-stained face. The boy was not scared; rather, he was nonchalant, his lips quivering as it let out low whispers. The melody of these whispers swayed with the sweetness of life, tickling Ciel's ears with its wonderful serenade. It was serene; it was thoughtful; above all, it was vivid and _lively_.

Ciel couldn't comprehend the blonde's actions at times. He was a rather unpredictable kind of boy. This proved to even more confuse Ciel on the blonde's very being. There was nothing happy about the very thought of death, yet the blonde seemed to be able to hum as if tomorrow promised happiness and mirth. They both knew full well it did not.

As a few more seconds passed, Ciel found himself listening to a quite different tune: slower, deeper, and more heartfelt. Then, all of a sudden, the blonde instantly changed the mood of the song. It was passionately dark and mournful, as if the shadows of the blonde's horrible past were finally flowing out of his body, the freedom they have been yearning for finally at their reach. The low sound was eerie, causing a small shivering sensation throughout the entirety of Ciel's body; and, as death seemingly began to take its toll, the eerie screeches coming from the blonde grew unbearably loud.

But it didn't last for long. The terrible song ended abruptly. The blonde boy, despite the pain and torment he was having to endure, used his final breathe to say a simple word: _kiss_.

Ciel was dumbfounded, looking at the once-lively corpse laying in that pile of vile roses. The distinct beauty of the song had kept him in awe. The very fact the boy had died did not faze him in the very least, though. No tears came. No sense of pity nor sadness came. He did not even care. However, he found that accepting the dead boy's final wish was for the best.

Thus, he gently brushed his lips against the blonde's forehead, tasting the horrible feeling of hollowness on his lips. The taste seemed to linger on his lips for quite some time, and as Ciel was about to leave the horrid scene, he could have sworn he heard very soft humming from behind: a song showered with the joys of peace, as well as a subtle hints of gratitude towards him—the effervescent song of _death…_

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**Typed this up on my iPhone at like, 1:42 in the morning. I admit this one's pretty dark. I got inspired to write this from Hollywood Undead's first CD, "Swan Songs," which I later found out was the last song a swan sings before its death. For some reason, I started imagining Alois dying, singing a song before his death. And, considering this whole drabble series has a sort of bird theme, I figured it would be pretty cool.**

**So, tell me what you guys think. Also, if you have any requests or suggestions, let me know. I don't bite. :P**


	3. Mysterious Bird of Paradise

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Mysterious Bird of Paradise**

"Ciel?"

"No, seal."

"No Ciel then?"

Frustration was eminent on Ciel's twitching face. "Idiot! I'm talking about _your_ seal! Your contract!"

Alois smiled—a viciously amused smile. Ciel wanted so bad to punch that smug look off his face, but he restrained himself. There was no use in violence right now. He would not dirty himself; he would leave this kind of work to Sebastian instead.

"Guess," the blonde replied abruptly, his playful tone making Ciel even more irritated. "Guess and amuse me with your perverse thoughts, Ciel." Another smug smirk, another twitch a la Ciel, another reason to punch the blonde right now.

Calmly, Ciel let out a sigh to relieve himself of his frustration. He let his thoughts drift into that matter—Alois's mysterious seal. Where exactly was it?

Ciel was certain the blonde's Ciel wasn't encrypted in his eyes like his were. A plausible explanation… it would be somewhere around the blonde's body. There were always his hands… but no. They weren't gloved; he wouldn't be stupid enough to expose his contract like that.

There was his chest… Yes, that seemed to be the most plausible idea. "Your… chest?" Ciel asked awkwardly, slapping himself mentally once he saw another smug smile tug on the blonde's lips.

Alois began to strip off his vest, unbuttoning his shirt slowly. A small tinge of red tickled Ciel's face as he forced himself to look away. A giggle escaped from Alois's lips. "No, no, I'm squeaky clean, see? Do you want to see the rest of me, just to make sure?"

At that, Ciel found himself imagining what Alois's body would be like… how appetizing his long, flawless, luscious legs would be… how amazingly graspable his buttocks would be… how adorable his pe—Ciel blushed and snapped out of his sudden daze. What in the world was he thinking about all this for? "How vulgar," Ciel muttered darkly as he tried to surpass his embarrassing blush, but to no avail. Alois seemed to notice how flustered the boy was, and he found himself smiling, bemused by the boy's musings.

"If you really want to know, I'll show you," the blonde said slyly, a mischievous smirk on his face. Ciel scoffed haughtily, arms firmly crossed over his small chest. He refused to reply to the blonde, suspicious of what he might do. But, either way, Alois took his silence as a way to say "yes" and walked up to the blue-haired boy, letting a lone finger caress his childish chin. This forced Ciel to look straight into the boy's light blue eyes. They closed for a brief moment as he said, "Close your eyes, Ciel."

There was a kind of authority in his voice that made Ciel do what he said. But as seconds passed with nothing happening, Ciel was starting to wonder what the blonde was up to. As he peeked one eye open, he gasped at the close proximity of Alois's face. And, he gasped even more as he felt his lips being touched by another pair, the softness of it earning small moans from the blue-haired boy. Then, all of a sudden, Ciel could feel something foreign inside his mouth, dancing and tickling the insides of his wet cavern. Could it be… Alois's… tongue…?

Ciel pushed the blonde boy off of him, sending him deathly glares of doom. Alois giggled softly and started dancing around the entirety of the room, his optimistic and hyperactive charm sickening the blue-haired boy. "You told me you would show me, bastard," Ciel barked angrily, rubbing his lips like there was no tomorrow. The annoyingly sweet taste of Alois's tongue still lingered in his mouth… but he decided to deal with that thought later.

"I did," Alois confessed. Ciel rolled his eyes, about to proclaim his lying antics, but his eyes suddenly widened when the blonde playfully stuck out his tongue. It would've looked like any other tongue, all pink and fleshy and cute, if it wasn't for the fact that there was an intricate design on it… that "intricate design" being a pentacle. Alois's seal… it was on his tongue all along!

And Alois's tongue was _inside_ Ciel's mouth!

Alois winked. Ciel scoffed and blushed. And then, Alois winked again; and their lips collided for a second time, the saccharine-like taste of the boy's evil, evil tongue teasing the blue-haired boy with all its maliciousness.

_Yum._

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**This one's quite a contrast to the last drabble, huh? It was really fun to write, though. I guess it's because I'm more into lighthearted stuff… or it might be because perverted Ciel is amusing. :P Anyway, much thanks to Shounen-Ai for being awesome and giving me this idea! You're the best! :D**

**I now have a million plot bunnies in my head thanks to some bird research. Yay! w**

**Oh… and another thing… THE FIRST EPISODE IS SO FREAKING COOL. OMFG, NAKED ALOIS, YES. HE'S SUCH A PSYCHO; I LOVE IT. AND HIS REAL SEAL… I NEVER WOULD'VE GUESSED. xD Need. Subs. NOW. *twitch***


	4. To Go the Way of the Dodo

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**To Go the Way of the Dodo**

"_The Extinction of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive"  
Written by Alois Trancy_

As with many famous shotacons that have evolved with the help of none other than their very cuteness, the Earl Ciel Phantomhive was entirely fearless of slash fanfiction and the otaku mob (or so he claimed); and this, in combination with his tsundere- and douchebag-like attitude, his suspicious relationship with the demonic butler Sebastian Michaelis that just screams "ho yay," and his adorable and beautiful looks that seem to captivate the oldest perverts made him easy prey for the viciously insane yaoi fangirls. When viciously insane yaoi fangirls first took notice in the Kuroshitsuji series, they also brought with them foreign ideas that had not existed in the series before, including the Earl Ciel Phantomhive and his butler Sebastian Michaelis sharing very fruitful and intimate scenes together, random "other characters" appearing and taking the spotlight from the true characters of the series, different outtakes on actual events that seem highly implausible and unreal, and the reincarnation of characters who have already died. These ideas plundered the sane Kuroshitsuji fans, while the fanart the viciously insane yaoi fangirls concocted corrupted their innocent minds with things that can never be unseen; currently, the impact these foreign ideas—especially the intimacy between the Earl Ciel Phantomhive and his butler Sebastian Michaelis—had on the Earl Ciel Phantomhive is considered to have been more severe than of fanart (well, unless that "fanart" is steamy doujinshi). The 2010 fangirl's finds are apparently of a new season of Kuroshitsuji (fandubbed "Monoshitsuji," which does not make much sense as the Japanese word for white is "shiro" and "mono" actually means _one_) which killed many former Kuroshitsuji fans as they thought the Earl Ciel Phantomhive was officially dead; such mass mortalities would have further jeopardized the Kuroshitsuji series.

There is some controversy surrounding the death of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive. Although there are scattered fanfiction of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive somehow being able to be revived from his "death" assumed by many from the original Kuroshitsuji, rabid fangirl investigations have hitherto found scant evidence of other plausible ideas of what actually happened to him in the last episode.

Few took particular notice of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive. By the early nineteenth century, it seemed altogether too asshole-ish of a creature, and was believed by many to be far inferior to Alois Trancy. With the discovery of the first batch of slash fanfiction easily found on Google, the Phantomhive mansion, and fanart drawn by some pretty psychotic fangirls, the infamous company Square Enix rekindled the interest of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive. However, they masked this by handing the spotlight to none other than the far more superior Earl Alois Trancy of the Trancy household. In the same year in which the Japanese began airing the second season of Kuroshitsuji, the newly vindicated earl was featured in a documentary written by Alois Trancy explaining the extinction of the Earl Ciel Phantomhive. With the popularity of Alois Trancy increasing, Alois Trancy outshined the Earl Ciel Phantomhive with his psychotic demeanor and unrivaled shotacon-ness.

Poor, poor Ciel. No one misses you—especially not the superior Alois Trancy.

The end.

"_The Extinction of the Earl Alois Trancy"  
Written by Ciel Phantomhive_

Earl Alois Trancy was an annoying and ostentatious blonde who wrote nonsensical vignettes that were far from the actual truth. Thus, the Queen's dog (also known as Ciel Phantomhive, earl of the Phantomhive household) carefully disposed of him by mysterious means that are still being investigated by local officials (or, in other words, Sebastian Michaelis was ordered to deal with him personally).

Poor, poor Alois. No one misses you—especially not the "extinct Ciel Phantomhive".

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**Suckish parody of the Wikipedia article on the extinction of dodo birds. :P Sorry if it's hard to make sense of any of this. Actually, I don't even think this makes any sense at all. This is what I get for writing something when I'm literally about to fall asleep. This fails so badly. But don't worry, guys; I actually wrote something else this morning that's more or less better than this. xD**

**Haha, for some reason, I enjoy Ciel and Alois hating on each other for no real reason. But at the same exact time, they're like, my favorite Kuroshitsuji pairing. :P**


	5. Cuckoo

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Cuckoo**

_Didn't Claude tell you that a maid must not look into his master's eyes…?_

Fresh blood trickled down a pallid arm, a sadistic giggle echoing throughout the vacancies of his room. Trembling slightly adjacent to him was the exotic, lavender-haired maid, her orchid lips agape with shock and fear. A silver cuspidate was carefully lodged deep within her right eye, deeming her eyesight completely useless.

_Scream and you die, slut…_ The placid tone contradicted the hideous scorn on his face. Slowly, the silver was forcefully extracted from her sanguinary eye socket, his bloody fingers carefully treading along the sharp edge. A tongue with a jessamy pentacle permanently imprinted on wrapped itself around the silvery point, the provocative salty taste teasing his taste buds. _Dirty… disgusting… vulgar…_

Watching this horrid scene intensely was a lone blue-haired boy, subtly loitering around the corner. The insanity of this "perky" boy was genuine and extreme, so much so that it was hard to believe such a human existed. The voracious gore and macabre such a small child was capable of with only his bare hands left him feeling nauseous.

The blonde looked at him and pointed two blood-stained fingers towards the boy's flushed face. Fear took toll on the crumbling boy, his senses numbing as the psychotic blonde rashly treaded towards his direction, his sole intent evident in his bloodthirsty pale blue eyes. Another cruelly sadistic giggle escaped from his smirking lips. _Scream and you die, remember that…_

Everything went dark.

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**Just saw a rough translation of the first episode (though, no subs yet). It seems that Alois has a thing for smelling people (and he said Sebastian smelled nice or something like that). Which, I admit, I do too. :P**

**Alois also calls Hannah a "slut," apparently. That gets me wondering now… I'm pretty sure Hannah will definitely be getting some horrible, tragic backstory. Something that made Alois hate her so much. I'm really interested in the triplets, though. I keep thinking they're mute, but they did seem to "talk" to each other in that one scene. I really want to hear their voices. They're so extremely hot (especially Timber, lawlz). o3o**

**Okay, I need to write something sweet and romantic now. xD**


	6. A Thousand Paper Cranes

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**A Thousand Paper Cranes**

I blinked. And blinked. And _blinked_.

Blues and reds, greens and yellows—an insane plethora of colors ranging beyond that of a rainbow's shades littered my office. Naturally, I would have scowled at such a disgusting and childish display, but there was a sense of tranquility among the flamboyant colors. Surprisingly, they proved the better of my moods, which is hard to accomplish.

Upon further inspection, I noticed a single note attached to one of the paper cranes. I carefully detached the note from the crane and unfolded it, slowly reading the mysterious contents inside:

_Dear Earl Ciel Phantomhive,_

_You may have noticed the rather large amount of origami (that is simply folded colored paper in the shapes of… well, anything, really) I have placed in your office. I have taken the time to fold each one, as crazy as it sounds. Supposedly, there is a legend believed by many a resident in the "Land of the Rising Sun," or Japan if you did not know. This legend is of paper cranes. It is commonly believed that if one were to fold a thousand paper cranes, one will gain the ability to be granted a single wish by a genuine crane._

_Ludicrous as it sounds, I do hope you consider. I have no ill-intentions, if you are thinking that. I know for a fact that you are not the type of person to simply "wish" for something, but if anything… my wish is for _you_ to make a wish._

_Please be happy, Ciel. I hope to see you again sometime soon._

_In the meantime, _make a wish_._

_Sincerely and forever yours,  
Earl Alois Trancy_

Ludicrous indeed. How could there possibly be some sort of magical crane to grant you wishes? This legend is as far-fetched as any other legend. The boy must be plotting something—something deviously evil against me and the entirety of the Phantomhive household.

But perhaps… this was Alois's way of telling me something—something… I cannot quite put my finger on, but there is _something_. Besides that… there is no harm in simply wishing for something, right?

Taking in a deep breathe, I closed my eyes tightly and gently whispered…

_I wish…_

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**This one's in Ciel's point of view. Honestly, I find it a lot easier to write in first person. :D**

**So, I have a few drabbles done already, but I want to know what you guys want to see next. Humor? Angst? Short shorts, durhurhur? 8D**

**Oh my gosh, I stayed up really late last night over-obsessing over Alois. I wrote about him. I drew suckish fanart of him. I kept watching the opening and rewinding that amazing scene where he licks the chess pieces. AND MORE. HAHA. :D**


	7. Mother Goose

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Mother Goose**

Poor little Ciel has lost his show  
And blames Alois for all of it  
That was until he found out, though  
His existence was very legit

Cute little Ciel was happy then  
And rubbed it in Alois's face  
The perky blonde was furious and  
He challenged Ciel to a race

Cute little Ciel quickly agreed  
He didn't want to hurt his pride  
He was sure no one could match his speed  
No matter how hard they tried

Alois thought quite differently  
As he thought he was the best  
He ran, he knew, extremely swiftly  
And no, he did not jest

The race began, the tension arose  
The two were like bolts of lightning  
They were equally matched and nose-to-nose  
The rivalry between them was frightening

Soon enough, as the finish line neared  
And their final hopes clung to sheer luck  
Alois "accidentally" smacked Ciel's rear  
And Ciel tumbled whilst cursing, "Fuck!"

The blonde passed and cheered with great delight  
But he quickly stopped when he saw  
A fuming Ciel, oh what a fright!  
Alois quickly left to withdraw

"You little cheat," Ciel went on saying  
As he slapped Alois's puffy cheeks  
Alois insisted, "I was just playing!"  
But his voice was a little too meek

Now poor Alois is left to the torture  
Of Ciel constantly beating him up  
He has finally learned for the distant future  
Never to slap a guy's rump

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Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
Whence may I come?  
"Never, I say, never  
For you are just scum."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
Why hate me so?  
"Isn't that obvious?  
Because you stole my show."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
But I never did that  
"Then explain why the opening  
Is centered around you, brat."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
At least you have the ending  
"Even then, even now  
To me, that means nothing."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
Don't be so spoiled  
"I am, I agree  
So leave now, I'm roiled."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
Can I tell you one last thing?  
"Go on, go ahead  
Just do not cling."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
I love you with all my heart  
"You better be joking.  
Either way, I will part."

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
No, I was not  
I am true to my word  
Until the day I rot

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
Please reconsider  
I truly mean what I say  
I am in no means a kidder

Phantomhive, Phantomhive  
Even if you never look at me again  
Please do know that I truly love you  
And this will forever remain

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Pansy Trancy murdered them all  
Pansy Trancy then went to fall  
Al the boy's maids and all the boy's servants  
Did not care much for that terrible tyrant

* * *

Pat-a-Ciel, Pat-a-Ciel  
Make him mad!  
Watch his cheeks glow  
Poor, poor lad!

Hug him, kiss him, mark him with a hickey  
And do it again, it's not all that tricky

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Hey, hey, Trancy, where is your contract?

Here, Ciel, here, Ciel, my tongue, that's a fact!

People think it's gross, others think it's pretty

And I can't think of anything else for this ditty

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Little Robin Phantomhive  
Danced with Blue Jay  
Slowly, surely, across the floor  
Gliding, sliding, again they sway

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Look upon shotacon Ciel  
Makes all the fangirls squeal  
He is so cute  
Though a little brute  
Look upon shotacon Ciel

* * *

Shut up, stupid Trancy, don't say a word,  
Ciel is gonna stab you with a sword,  
And if that sword just will not hurt,  
Ciel is gonna bury you in dirt,  
But if you happen to escape,  
Ciel will pelt you with a thousand grapes,  
But if you use them for a snack,  
Ciel will make sure you get a good whack!

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Blue eyes  
Soft yellow hair  
A whisper  
A kiss there

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I hate little Trancy  
His face is so smug  
And if I hurt him  
He gives me a hug  
So I'll kick his shin  
And I'll push him away  
But Trancy doesn't care  
He just smiles and stays

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These are Trancy's black short shorts  
This is Trancy's seal  
This is the way he plays with my mind  
And teases with unmatched zeal

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I am a cute little blonde boy  
As crazy as can be  
Even then, all the fangirls  
Swoon all over me!

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One, two, three, four, five—  
Once I kissed a Phantomhive.  
Six, seven, eight, nine, ten—  
He didn't like it way back then.  
I kissed him again a few days later.  
He said it wasn't any better.  
So I kissed him again, slow and sweet.  
He said it was a very pleasant treat.

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Trancy, Trancy, quite contrary  
How is your copycat butler?  
With sexy features and knife throwing wonders  
He's just like mine, only subtler

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Trancy, Trancy, what a pansy  
Has a butler who's quite dancy  
He gave him a thorny pink rose  
And started dancing, I suppose

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Phantomhive is going down  
Going down, going down

Phantomhive is going down  
Thanks to Trancy

Take a key and lock him up  
Lock him up, lock him up

Take a key and lock him up  
Well done, Trancy

Then how will I deal with him?  
Deal with him, deal with him

Then how will I deal with him?  
Wonders Trancy

Chains and whips are too cliché  
Too cliché, too cliché

Chains and whips are too cliché  
Says he, Trancy

Maybe he will use his hands  
Use his hands, use his hands

Maybe he will use his hands  
Mused he, Trancy

Or maybe I should tease him good  
Tease him good, tease him good

Or maybe I should tease him good  
Thought he, Trancy

Touch him here and lick him there  
Lick him there, lick him there

Touch him here and lick him there  
Happy Trancy

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I've been spying on my Ciel  
All the live long day  
I've been spying on my Ciel  
Just because I think I'm gay

I can hear him moaning loudly  
I can see he's not alone  
Oh dear, Sebastian's being naughty  
Saying, "Ciel, won't you moan more?"

Ciel, won't you moan

Ciel, won't you moan,

Ciel, won't you moan a little more?

Ciel, won't you moan

Ciel, won't you moan

Ciel, won't you moan some more?

Sebastian's in the room, I know  
Sebastian's in the room with Ciel

Pulling a thorn from his foot, I observe

Ahh, ahh, ugh… ugh… oh  
Ahh, ahh, ugh… ugh… oh oh oh  
Ahh, ahh, ugh… ugh… oh

Thought it was something else, huh, you perv?

**

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Ciel Phantomhive and Alois  
They make a cute couple!  
Whenever they go out, the fangirls always shout  
"There goes Ciel Phantomhive and Alois!"

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* * *

**

Ciel, Ciel, Ciel is my beau  
Ciel, Ciel, Ciel is my beau  
Ciel, Ciel, Ciel is my beau  
Ciel is my beau, my darlin'

But all he says is shoo, shoo, shoo  
But all he saus is shoo, shoo, shoo  
But all he says is shoo, shoo shoo  
Still Ciel is my beau, my darlin'

**

* * *

**

Earl Ciel and Earl Alois  
Were fighting for the crown  
Earl Ciel beat Earl Alois  
All about the town

Some wrote slash fanfiction  
Others drew some art  
And then the town went crazy  
As the boys stole all their hearts

**

* * *

**

I don't want to go with Alois  
No way, way, way

Because he thinks I'm quite queer  
That I'm gay, gay, gay

He go and tickles my ears  
And has the audacity to slap my rear

I don't want to go with Alois  
No way, way, way

**

* * *

**

The Phantomhive Earl  
He found a pearl  
On a bright and happy day

The Trancy Earl  
HE stole the pearl  
And took it clean away

The Phantomhive Earl  
Called for the pearl  
And beat the blonde earl with wenge

The Trancy Earl  
Brought back the pearl  
And vowed on his silly revenge

**

* * *

**

Crazy Trancy went to town  
Was kidnapped by some fairies  
Stuck a finger in Hannah's eye  
And danced like he was merry

Crazy Trancy, keep it up  
Crazy psycho Trancy  
Mind the music and the steps  
And go and keep on dancing

**

* * *

**

Lotsa shota, oh so moe  
Catch a Ciel, easy prey  
If he screams, don't let him stray  
Lotsa shota, oh so moe

Lotsa shota, oh so moe  
Catch Alois, something crazy  
If he wails, don't be lazy  
Lotsa shota, oh so moe

A-1 told me to pick the very best one  
And you are (not) it

**

* * *

**

Ciel and I  
We went to hide  
For some quiet alone time  
We were found  
And we both frowned  
Like this was some kind of crime

**

* * *

**

Trancy had a little Ciel  
Little Ciel, little Ciel  
Trancy had a little Ciel  
His skin as soft as clouds

But everywhere that Trancy went  
Trancy went, Trancy went  
But everywhere that Trancy went, the stalker's only Claude

Ciel followed Trancy one short day  
One short day, one short day  
Ciel followed Trancy one short day  
Which filled him up with glee

Ciel only tried to push'm away  
Push'm away, push'm away  
Ciel only tried to push'm away  
And he left, melancholy

Ciel wanted to apologize  
Apologize, apologize  
Ciel wanted to apologize  
Despite his hurt pride

But Trancy was happy and smiled  
Happy and smiled, happy and smiled  
But Trancy was happy and smiled  
He nearly, maybe cried

The two made up and quickly embraced  
Quickly embraced, quickly embraced  
The two made up and quickly embraced  
And he pecked Ciel's head

Tht made Ciel get all red-faced  
All red-faced, all red-faced  
That made Ciel get all red-faced  
So then he up and fled

**

* * *

**

What is Ciel Phantomhive made of?  
Evil and tea  
Some trace of jubilee  
That's what Ciel Phantomhive is made of.

**

* * *

**

That eencey weencey Ciel  
Climbed up onto my lap  
Leaned my head in closer  
To fill the smallish gap  
A smug smirk appeared  
As he leaned a bit closer  
And that eencey weencey Ciel  
Kissed me, the blonde poser

**

* * *

**

One bright, sunny morning,  
When the sun shone bright  
I changed upon the Earl Trancy  
In all his childish delight  
He began to embrace  
And then he whispered  
Will you stay here?  
And will you stay here?  
And will you stay here, again?

* * *

What did I dream?  
Of that blonde boy  
That one I clearly hated  
But contradictory  
I am, quite so  
As we are surely fated

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Yeah… this one is pretty long. I kinda got carried away from my rhyming spree last night. Oops. I'm not the best at rhyming, though, so bear with me. I also kinda BS'd on some of them, 'cause it got boring. :P**

**What's your favorite nursery rhyme? Mine is Baa Baa Black Sheep. :D But, my fave _Kuro_-sery rhyme is… Pat-a-Ciel! xD**

**By the way, if you didn't know, these are the nursery rhymes parodied (in order):**

**1. Little Bo-Beep  
2. Butterfly, Butterfly  
3. Humpty Dumpty  
4. Pat-a-Cake  
5. Baa Baa Black Sheep  
6. Little Robin Redbreast  
7. Hickory Dickory Dock  
8. Hush, Little Baby  
9. Green Cheese  
10. I Love Little Pussy  
11. Grandma's Spectacles  
12. I Am A Pretty Little Dutch Girl  
13. Fish Story  
14. Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary  
15. Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater  
16. London Bridge is Falling Down  
17. I've Been Working on the Railroad  
18. Jogn Jacob Jingle Heimer Schmidt  
19. Skip to My Lou  
20. The Lion and the Unicorn  
21. I Don't Want to Go to Mexico  
22. The Queen of Hearts  
23. Yankee Doodle  
24. Eenie Meanie Miney Moe  
25. Jack and Jill  
26. Mary Had a Little Lamb  
27. What Are Little Boys Made Of?  
28. Itsy Bitsy Spider  
29. One Misty, Moist Morning  
30. What Did I Dream?**

**Go go go and sing along with them~ 8D**


	8. Dance of the Doves

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Dance of the Doves**

Blue Jay, was it? _It is a rather… peculiar name for a sophisticated girl of her stature_, Ciel mused. _Nonetheless, it suits the mystery surrounding her… but still, I cannot ignore the nagging feeling that _she_ looks very familiar…_ He stared up into pale blue eyes, awed by the mystique and beauty such delicate orbs held. Then, at her rosy cheeks, which signified a refreshing look of health and youth. But then, his gaze began to subconsciously linger towards those luscious… full… coral pink lips, the alluring temptation causing him to sweat uncontrollably. Ciel closed his eyes, raising his chin upwards, and…

He retracted slowly, flustered and confused. It was weird, how Ciel could feel such lustful sentiments towards a complete and utter _stranger_. He supposed that a beauty such as her would be an irresistible treat, but he still could not believe that he would lose control over himself like this. _What kind of girl is she… to make me behave in such foreign manners?_

Drowning in a deep world of musings, Ciel had not realized that the gentle serenade had ended. It was only a sweet voice that brought him back to reality, making him fumble into his partner's chest. A blush began to eat up his cheeks as he pulled himself back to a semi-calm demeanor. Though, his frantic voice deemed otherwise: "I… I… s-sorry, Blue Jay…"

The blonde smiled but did not reply. A silence loomed over them, but it wasn't awkward; rather, the silence was peaceful and becoming, as the two continued to sneak short glances at each other. Then, the blonde decided to break that silence, tugging the other into a tight embrace.

"You are… so beautiful," the blonde whispered gently, his eyes evidently scrutinizing the pink-clad beauty. "No, no, that is an understatement, really. Should I say… pretty? Comely? Fair? Or rather… there are no words to describe you, for no word is great enough to fully grasp your lovely essence, milady." The blonde paused abruptly for a short second, then continued saying, "May I kiss you?"

Ciel seemed to be taken aback, but another blush formed on his cheeks, and he ended up looking to the side in embarrassment. "I am… a girl, though…"

"That is no matter. A boy and a girl may kiss. A boy and a boy may kiss. A girl and a girl may kiss. We do not restrict our lips to only the opposite gender." Blue Jay smiled. "Of course… because of that… it holds truth in the matter of love. Boy and girl love. Boy and boy love. Girl and girl love. It is all the same. And why… I feel like the latter is blooming between us."

The philosophical words brought Ciel to a strange daze. He supposed what Blue Jay said was the truth, but still he could not possibly fathom as to how people can fall in love with strangers so _easily_. He barely knew the blonde; why, he found that the only thing he knew about her was her name: _Blue Jay_. That is it. _She is definitely engulfed in a sea of mysteries_, thought he.

The blonde's sweet voice brought Ciel back to reality once again. "May I kiss you?" the blonde reiterated, wrapping both arms around Ciel's waist. He remained silent, not knowing what to think. He was not too keen on the idea of kissing the girl when she thought _he_ was a girl. The lies already hidden in-between this forming relationship… it was already too horrible… too vile…

Yet, it seemed he had no control over himself as his lips began to pucker. He raised his chin yet again, closing his eyes and impatiently waiting for the blonde to kiss him. In but a few seconds, Ciel could feel another pair of soft, warm lips caress his, the feeling very pleasant.

A sense of euphoria shot through their veins. The mood was perfect; the atmosphere was serene; the two slowly began to slip their tongues into each other's mouths, their tongues colliding with mild force. They began to dance, the blonde's tongue guiding Ciel's in a similar way to their dancing a few moments ago. Ciel allowed the blonde to take control, as spoiled as he was, and succumbed to the burning pleasure teasing his senses.

Their tongues continued to sway, this way and that, and their faces began to turn a bright scarlet; they remained in their lovely kissing position, even as the clock struck twelve, for all they could think of was the ecstasy gracing their lips… their mouths… their very _being_.

_I wish… oh… that _this_ dance will never end…._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Ugh, head hurts right now… Can't think… Hurts to think… But needed to write fluff and a kissing scene involving those two little shotas… Very happy now. :D**

**To everyone who's watched Gravitation… is it just me, or don't you think Tohma has an uncanny resemblance to Alois? And it's not just because they're both cute and blonde. Okay, well, maybe it is. ._.**

**Anyway, this is obviously a continuation of the first drabble, which I might possibly turn into a full story whenever my headache ceases. I ACTUALLY TYPED UP THE ENTIRE OUTLINE ON MY PHONE A FEW MINUTES AGO. xD Also, I find this scarily weird, but… I was bored and decided to research a bit on blue jays, and I found out that they have violent tendencies, especially towards smaller birds (coughCIELcough). And it pretty much matches Alois. But I had no idea. I just liked the name "Blue Jay" 'cause it sounded cool. :P I'm so glad I didn't call him "Canary". I was seriously gonna call this "Robin and the Canary".**

**ROFL.**

**Now, I'm trying to think of a proper title. I'm thinking something along the lines of "Masquerade Mystique". Yeah, I know, corny.**

**Time for some brainstorming. xD**


	9. Cock and Bull

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Cock-and-Bull**

"Bull."

"No, really! Let me explain. It happened just a few days ago…

_"I, the super special awesome Alois Trancy, was extremely bored one day. These kinds of days are pretty common for me considering people are so irksome. The best kind of entertainment I have seen in a while was me poking out this dog's left eye. No, shut up, I do _not_ have a freaky fetish with poking out left eyes._

_"Anyway, as I was saying, I was bored. It seemed like there was absolutely nothing to do. Though, I spoke too soon, as right after I was about to die from complete and utter boredom, I heard a hollow, stentorian knock on the door._

_"Of course, I rushed down immediately to see who it could possibly be. And, when I did, I literally screamed my head off and fucking glomped the man. I fucking _pounced_ on him like a leopard, Ciel._

_"Speaking of leopards, that reminds me: Claude bought me a new pair of kinky leopard short shorts that he wants me to wear from now on in the privacy of our rooftop. But I digress. Anyway, back to my awesome story._

_"That man I glomped was my favorite man in the entire area of London. I am not even here to jest about this; that is how much I absolutely adore this man. And you are probably asking yourself now: 'Who is _this man_ that the epic Alois Trancy, earl of the Trancy household, speaks to highly of? I also wonder if this man is as sexy as Alois himself.'_

_"This man is…_

_"His name is…_

_"He is simply referred to as…"_

"Will you just continue? You have already wasted thirty seconds of my time with this idiotic story of yours," interrupted Ciel blatantly, earning a disapproving nod from the blonde.

"This is just for dramatic effect, Ciel. From now on, please refrain from interrupting me again, or I will have to be forced to poke out your left eye. I mean, I will gouge out your _right_ eye." The threat didn't seem to faze the blue-haired brat as he just stood there, scowling. Then again, he always seems to be scowling, that tea-obsessed, puny little cutie.

"Where was I again?" the blonde suddenly asked no one in particular, contemplating deeply on the matter. Then, with a face that signaled a magnificent epiphany that seemed to answer all his current questions, he happily exclaimed, "Oh, I recall now! Anyway, as I was saying…

_"He goes by the name… Arthur Kirkland._

_"Arthur._

"Motherfucking.

_"Kirkland._

_"Have you engrained that epic name in your head yet? Oh, and no, he is not as sexy as me, for that is impossible to accomplish._

_"Anywho… He seemed to be happy to see me, too. But, it did not take me long to realize that there was something very… queer about him today. And that is not because he is, in fact, attracted to and only men._

_"So, concerned as I was, I asked him, 'Uncle Arnold, is something wrong?'_

_"And he was all like, 'Yes. I think I may have encountered a new species of fairies.'_

_"And I gasped. Because that is the only thing I could do, for I was absolutely speechless at his discovery. 'You best be joking," I had said, doubt washing over my face. Deep inside, however, I believed in his ludicrous words. 'There is no possible way! Have we not already discovered all the species of fairies already?'_

_"'That is what we thought. But we were wrong—oh, so very wrong. Hurry, you must witness them yourself!'_

_"He began dragging me out of my manor, and in no time we were at our secret fairy oasis. Which was right behind my house, but nonetheless…_

_"We peered at the fairies from behind an annoying bush (it kept on poking my sides with its evil, thorny branches of doom) and I could not help but gasp again. Uncle Arthur was right! There _was_ a new species of fairies! And they looked just like Mick Jagger!_

_So I guess I cannot kick them to the curb. But oh well._

_As we continued secretly spying on them, realization dawned on both of us as we saw them bring out the beer. They were planning on replacing all the tea in the London area with cold, disgusting beer!_

_So in a fix, we went running around the entirety of London, yelling at the top of our lungs, 'The fairies are coming! The fairies are coming! And no, this is no fucking _that's what she said_!' For some reason, people just stared at us like we were crazy. But we continued running and screaming our heads off, because we knew we were the only hope on keeping London from the brink of insanity due to lack of tea…_

"And that's why I wear short shorts."

"Bull," Ciel reiterated, scoffing with disbelief.

"Cock! Bull and cock! Cock-and-bull!" Alois exclaimed happily, clasping his hands together in glee.

Ciel scoffed again, mumbling gravely, "Hopeless lunatic…"

**.**

**.**

**.**

**What. England makes an appearance.**

**What is this. I don't even.**

**I don't even. What is this.**

**Yeah. I'm pretty speechless myself. I blame England and his fairies and his freaking unicorns. I bet England and Alois would have conversations about fairies.**

**Gosh, what is with these cute English blondies and _fairies_? :I**

**Okay, I'll be posting up a serious drabble next time. Possibly even later today. :D**


	10. Sweet Tweet

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Sweet Tweet**

"Sebastian, bring me something sweet at once."

"Yes, My Lord," came the infamous reply as the black-clad demon butler rushed to the kitchen, then back to his master's office with a platter in hand; sitting delicately on the porcelain plate was a piece of cake, topped perfectly with swirls of vanilla icing and a luscious, juicy strawberry. Ciel's mouth had already begun to water at the tempting deliciousness of the sweet confectionary.

When his butler set the plate before his master, the blue-haired boy immediately snatched the silver fork and stabbed the cake harshly, taking a large chunk of the poor, poor pastry. Then, he hastily shoved it into his mouth, moaning with undeniable euphoria at the delectable taste. Bits of white (remnants of the poor, poor cake the boy had viciously devoured with but a simple chomp) was piling up on his face quickly, though he was oblivious to it.

Sebastian stared at his master in disappointment and heaved out a long, terrible, brooding sigh. "How filthy," he simply stated, nodding his head with a trace of dissatisfaction in his eyes.

The boy, who was still being rather messy with his treat, passively waved a hand off to his butler, urging him to leave his presence. The butler was somehow able to decipher this with ease, as if he could read his young master's thoughts, and bowed down to the blue-haired boy formally. Then, turning on his heels, he reached for the door and opened it, his sole intent to leave in peace. However, that didn't seem to be the case, for as soon as the demon opened the door, two all-too-familiar figures came walking in without so much as a warning: Alois Trancy and Claude Faustus.

Sebastian walked off to the side and placed a gloved hand on his chest, bowing respectfully for the uninvited visitors. Though, when he and Claude exchanged glances at each other, there seemed to be a deathly tension that ruined his respectful demeanor. "Young master," he said in his calm, suave voice, a hint of annoyance hiding behind his placid words. "It seems we have some very unexpected guests today."

The boy didn't even bother looking as he continued chomping away at his delicious cake. "Leave… now. I am… quite… busy… as of… this… moment," he said in-between mouthfuls, waving his free hand at them. "Shoo."

"Where are your manners, Ciel?" the blonde intruder asked sarcastically, a small smirk appearing like a ghost on his pallid face. He then turned back to look at the butlers, who were glaring at each other and seemed to be having a silent war between themselves.

The blonde sighed. "Such children," he said exasperatedly, referring to the two butlers. Upon hearing his statement, they both diverted their attention from each other and straightened their postures in a dignified manner.

Alois smiled. "I would very much appreciate if you two"—he pointed at the black-clad butlers simultaneously—"would leave us"—he gestured at the masticating boy and himself—"to ourselves for a few minutes. There are matters I have been meaning to discuss with him… _alone_." He gravely stressed out his final word, a dark look overcoming his demeanor. But then, his mood quickly changed again, as his smile was as cheery and bright as before. "Now? I haven't got all day, damn it."

Sebastian was weary, but decided to comply; if Ciel was in trouble, he would call for him in a jiffy. As for Claude, he remained as stoic as ever. Typical.

When the two finally took their leave, Alois returned his attention to the blue-haired boy and giggled. "You're so dirty, Ciel."

That was when he actually finished his entire cake, commencing on glaring at the giddy blonde as he pushed the empty plate aside. "Now what is this 'matter' you wish to speak to me about? Come now, I haven't gotten all day," he said in a mocking tone. Alois remained indifferent.

"Oh, I just came to discuss a particular problem recurring in the facets of…" he abruptly trailed off and smiled—a vicious and cunning smile. Ciel grew suspicious, a single eyebrow raising itself subconsciously.

The blonde began to walk up to the boy, pushing his face into the blue-haired boy's face closely. Ciel's only reaction was a faint blush, to which he cursed himself for mentally. Showing such weakness to a rival, especially to someone like Alois, was very demeaning to his character. But his musings suddenly dissipated from his mind when Alois inquired: "You really are dirty, Ciel… Having all this white stuff on your face."

The faint blush seemed to grow into an even more monstrous red, the blonde smirking with slight satisfaction. He then stuck out his tongue, his yellow pentacle now visible, and proceeded to lapping Ciel's lips with it, licking off all the cake remnants aforementioned. The pitiable (or rather, very fortunate) victim of the licking began to whimper hungrily at the soft, seductive feel of the blonde's tongue. The erotica levels of his licking were mind-blowing for Ciel; he literally would have exploded from the intense pleasure if not for the smug smirk attached firmly on the blonde's face after licking off all the excess frosting.

The heat in Ciel's cheeks began to show more signs of contempt than embarrassment. "Get out!" he roared angrily, his irritation levels going haywire when the blonde just winked at him, smiling mockingly. The blue-haired boy winced as the blonde neared him again, though a different intent seemed to play with his nasty grin.

"Let's say we put some more white stuff on your face, shall we?"

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Ugh, it's been such a long day for me. *faints***

**Okay, I think I need to stop writing about Alois licking people now. xD**

**Anyway, to anyone who's read my first Kuro fic ("Short Shorts") would you like if I continued it? I've been asked to multiple times, and even though it was meant to be a one-shot, I'm actually considering on making at least another chapter to it. An interesting chapter, if you know what I mean. But I want to know if you guys will be okay with it. I honestly have never written anything smutty yet, so it'll probably suck. But it'll also be good practice for me. :P**


	11. Alois Want a Cracker?

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Alois Want a Cracker?**

Eight-year-old Alois Trancy stared at the luscious greenery surrounding him, breathing in the pleasant scent of a warm summer afternoon. Gentle zephyrs toyed with his wispy platinum blonde locks, his face radiating with calmness and vitality. The peace was rather soothing for the young boy, and he wanted to relish every single moment of such a serene sce—

_"Damn it!"_

The blonde stupidly blinked and frantically began to search for the person responsible for ruining his peace. It didn't take too long, however, as 1) the park was nearly deserted save for him and a few civilians walking their dogs, and 2) the suspect continued to scream out nonsensical and vulgar words at the top of his lungs. The young blonde nodded his head in disappointment, grieved that another child (who was just about the same age as him, it seemed) would say the "bad words" his parents forbid him to say—_ever_. Thus, that lead to him walking up to the madly cursing child with the intent of scolding him incessantly.

"Hey, you," the blonde said suddenly with a childish yet dominant voice. The blue-haired boy glanced up to look at the blonde and scowled. Alois, with arms akimbo and his lips protruding in a menacing pout, looked down upon the other boy, his demeanor scarily intimidating. The blue-haired boy, however, didn't seem to be fazed by such a display and continued with his vicious frowning. "You're not supposed to be saying bad words, mister," the blonde said in a matter-of-fact way, his tone mirroring that of a school teacher's. "Didn't mommy and daddy teach you that?"

"Screw off," the other boy barked darkly, standing about adjacent to the blonde. Though he was slightly smaller, the blue-haired boy held a bludgeon countenance that made the blonde shiver with fear. "This _stupid_ bird won't get away from my crackers!" His voice seethed with frustration and annoyance, stinging the blonde harshly. Though, still infantile and naïve, he couldn't help but feel pity for the blue-haired boy.

"I'm sorry," he breathed almost silently, traces of sympathy cowering behind his words. The blonde held out his arms in the air and wrapped them around the frustrated being in front of him. Startled by such a sudden action, the blue-haired boy gasped, but he remained still, a warm feeling surging throughout the entirety of his body. "I'm sorry," the blonde reiterated, only significantly louder this time, as he began patting the shorter boy's head in a comforting manner. He let out a small whimper and succumbed to the gentleness of the blonde's touch.

The two young boys remained in a hugging position for quite some time. That was, until, the blue-haired boy gently nudged the blonde off of him and crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, a tinge of pink evident on his cheeks. "Thank you," was the only thing he said before he was showered with more embracing a la Alois. The blue-haired boy, despite his scorn towards the blonde, subconsciously wrapped his own arms around the other's waist, his blush glowing an ever brighter shade of pink.

The two exchanged acknowledging glances at each other, their faces a forbidden proximity to each other's. Their lips were wavering with uncertainty, as if they were about to do something but was restraining themselves from doing so. Though, even then, they both began to near each other, their lips puckering cutely. Closer, closer, _closer_… their lips were on the verge of touching ever so slightly. And, just as they were about to exchange fruitful acts of intimacy with each other, a _cawing_ from their left interrupted them before they could move any closer to each other.

The two glanced at each other, blushed, and diverted their attention to the black bird. Ciel exclaimed, "That's the bird that keeps stealing my crackers!"

Acting upon that statement alone, Alois began to pounce on the black bird, yelling at the top of his lungs to scare of the bird. The crow seemed to be amused by this and continued to tease the blonde, until boredom hit it. He stole one final glance at the two young boys and left in a hurry, letting out one final caw. Alois threw an arm in the air in victory, returning his attention back to the other boy.

The blue-haired boy, a shadowing smile of glee forming on his face, nudged his face towards the blonde once again, his mouth slightly opening. Then, with a sudden force that was enough to give anyone a heart attack, he shoved a salty cracker into the blonde's mouth. Alois moaned softly and began to chew, savoring the salty flavor of the snack.

"Thank you, _again_," Ciel said softly, embracing the boy once again.

From high above them was the crow, briskly flapping his wings. It smirked smugly and flew off into the endless blue, a satisfactory cry emitting from his beak. _How innocent…_

**.**

**.**

**.**

**D'aww.**

**I was trying to type up the first chapter of that Kuro WIP I'm working on, but I got bored. So I wrote this. Haha. :P**

**We went shopping today, and while in the produce section, I noticed that one of the potatoes were shaped funny. So I took a picture of it with my phone. But then I started hearing this girl laughing at me. And, yeah… I thought it was kinda awkward.**

**And you might be asking yourself now: what is the prevalence of this story to Kuroshitsuji? I was wearing a Great Britain shirt. C:**

**Yeah, you can tell I'm bored. But this seriously happened. And I seriously do have a Great Britain shirt. It's deliciously foreign and Great Britain-y.**


	12. Twitter

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Twitter**

_Click-clack-clunk—_

It seemed like just any other ordinary day. Ciel Phantomhive, a bratty and snooty rich boy who always had a haughty air to him, was typing away on his keyboard, eyes fixated on his screen. He had various windows here and there: websites mainly pertaining to death and cake, a Word document that was titled "Ways to Annoy Sebastian" and had an impressive twenty-thousand words and counting, a few instant messaging wind—

_Ding!_

**PrincessLizzy256: **heyyyyyyyyy ccciiiiieeellllll!1!1! :DDDDDDD

Ciel blinked, heaving out an irritated sigh.

**IAmNotCiel: **Have you not noticed that I am labeled as "busy," Lizzy?

**PrincessLizzy256: **ahhww srry ciel… buuutttt heeyyyyyy, tht ryhmed teeheeeeheeee :DDDDDDDDDD

**PrincessLizzy256: ***sorry

**IAmNotCiel: ***rhymed

**PrincessLizzy256: **wait waaaaat?/? DDDDDDDx

**IAmNotCiel: **Never mind. Talk to you later.

**PrincessLizzy256: **kk bai ciel!1! ttfn! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Heaving out another sigh, though this time with an essence of relief, Ciel continued to tap away, paying no mind to anything else around him. Though, after a few more minutes of incessant typing, he decided he was rather bored. Hey, typing all day in the confinements of your room would get tedious, especially if what you're typing was an essay.

So, with that, Ciel decided to log onto his Twitter account (sighing sadly when he realized that Sebastian had signed onto the instant messaging service). He crossed his fingers and hoped his sexy—I mean, his annoying friend wouldn't notice him. Sadly, that was not the case, for just a few seconds after his annoying friend logged in, Ciel received an instant message. _Two_, actually.

**BringingSexyBack: **Ciel. Would you care to accept my invitation to have a little "fun," per se? C:

_What the fuck, Sebastian. _Ciel minimized that window with the sole intent of responding with his "What I Hate About Sebastian" essay in a few minutes and looked at the other instant message.

**FUCKINGFAIRIES69: **GUESS WHAT

Ugh.

No.

It's.

_Alois._

**IAmNotCiel: **What.

**FUCKINGFAIRIES69: **I JUST FUCKING TWEETED YOU

**IAmNotCiel: **Wait. What.

**FUCKINGFAIRIES69: **I SAID, I JUST FUCKING TWEETED YOU. ON TWITTER. DAMMIT

**IAmNotCiel: **I know. But. Why.

**FUCKINGFAIRIES69: **CAUSE I WANTED TO TWEET YOU

**IAmNotCiel: **:/

Ciel looked on his Twitter page and searched for whatever the bastard decided to "tweet" him. It was an easy find seeing as it was the only message in full caps.

_HI CIEL. IT'S ALOIS. I JUST FUCKING TWEETED YOU. HAVE A SEXY DAY AND DON'T FALL INTO SEBBY'S TRAP. KTHXBAI._

Well, that was… pointless… to say the least.

_Ding!_

**FUCKINGFAIRIES69: **WOOOO TWEETING IS PSYCHOTICALLY AMUSING WOOOO!

_Ding!_

**PrincessLizzy256: **cieellllll y r u talkng tooooo eevveeerryyooonenee cept 4 meeee?1/!1?1! DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

**PrincessLizzy256: ***talking

_Ding!_

**Princeofcurry: **namaste ciel :)

_Ding!_

**Agni: **please ignore my prince!

_Ding!_

**HotRedhead666: **sebas-chan iz ignoring ME cuz of U! JFRKALHGAFL;GLAHRLGADF;JAJDGKL

_Ding!_

**CF: **Excuse my young master for his immaturity. He is having a "crazy" day today.

_Ding!_

**PrincessLizzy256: **cciiiiiiieeeeeelllllllllll stttoooooooopppppppppppp igggnnooorrriiiingggg meeeeee DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

_Ding!_

**BringingSexyBack: **Shall I take your silence as a yes? C:

_Ding!_

**FUCKINGFAIRIES69: **TWEET ME BACK, CIEL!

The overload of instant messages caused Ciel to scream in agonizing pain. He has had _enough_ of this bullshit already!

Ciel clicked on "appear as offline," but not before typing up a message for everyone to see: _F. U. PEOPLE._

Sometimes he wondered why he even bothered to log onto MSN in the first place, anyway.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED BORED FFFFFFFF I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY WRITING A STORY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF**

**(Psssst, they're not in Victorian England.)**

**I'm gonna be honest here: I don't have a Twitter. So I really have no clue what you guys do on there. I enjoyed making up their MSN names though. Not so much the leet…**

**To anyone who cares, the next drabble will be called "Little Red Robin Hood". I've already typed up like, a fourth of it, tee-hee. :L**


	13. Little Red Robin Hood

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Little Red Robin Hood**

Once upon a demented era sprinkled with queer rainbow unicorns and abnormally giant grey-haired leprechauns was an arrogant little brat who was practically loathed by everyone who looked at him, but most of all by the redheaded shinigami, Grell Sutcliff. They had no relation whatsoever to each other, but Ciel referred to _it_ as "grandma". It proved to annoy both _it_ and his black-clad valet-slash-mother-figure Sebastian Michaelis, for every time he called _it_ by that degrading nickname, _it_ would run to Sebastian and nag him with questions like, "Am I really that old-lookin', Sebas-chan?" and "Does my butt look big in this?" Though, the latter is positively irrelevant and is, in fact, only a random distraction to amuse your perverse thoughts while the blue-haired brat wakes up and walks down the stairs in a boring fashion.

Once the always scowling brat was downstairs, his butler (who is supposedly one hell of a freakin' butler) walked up to his young master and shoved a platter of delicious-looking blueberry cake up his face. Ciel's nomnomnom senses urged him to viciously pounce onto the plate and chomp like the saccharine-obsessed monster he is. But before he could even do something like that, Sebastian smirked smugly and tossed the cake behind him. Somehow, the cake conveniently landed in the trash perfectly. That little tidbit was overlooked, however, as all Ciel could feel was sadness and anger; sadness because his cake was ruined; anger because his cake was ruined. Oh, and also because of his sexy butler; damn him, if Sebastian wasn't so evilly sexy, Ciel would have kicked his sorry as with an unimaginable force that didn't seem befitting to his fragile, pompous, aristocratic persona.

Alas, Sebastian was unfortunately too sexy, as aforementioned.

Setting aside his "Sebastian is the sex" thoughts for a later time, Ciel innocently ogled at the black-haired, extremely pallid man, crossing his skinny little feeble arms over his skinny little feeble chest. His bottom lip protruded into an adorable pout, but the demonic butler was unfazed by such cute displays. Instead, he snickered and put a gloved finger under the young boy's chin, gently lifting it up. Ciel blushed and looked to the side, and Sebastian couldn't help but smile maliciously. "Here," Sebastian breathed into the younger boy's ear softly, producing another delicious-looking blueberry cake out of the _blue_. "You are to give this to 'grandma,' for she is extremely sick."

"I thought you hated _grandma_."

"I do," Sebastian said in a matter of fact way, his wicked smile curling madly. "But we will try to be nice this one time. Now go on and give this to him… err, _it_."

With an irritated huff, Ciel snatched the temptingly delicious cake from Sebastian's hands and put it inside a basket, just so he won't "accidentally" eat it. And, just as he was about to merrily skip—I mean, angrily storm off outside, Sebastian snatched the young boy to the side, grinning madly from ear to ear. "You forgot to wear this."

Wrapped neatly around Ciel's smallish head was a crimson red hood with intricate white designs and decorative lace all around. Scoffing, his irritation levels rising ever so quickly, Ciel glared at the black-haired man valet-slash-mother-figure. "What the fuck is this for?"

"It'll help keep you camouflaged. The woods are a dangerous place at this time. There are wolves lurking around, or so I've heard."

"For one thing, it's fucking _red_. It'll stand out! And another thing, it's not like it's nighttime. It's still bright and early in the morning; I doubt any pedophiles are awake at this hour. And, there aren't any resident wolves around."

Sebastian smirked. "By wolves, I meant Alois."

"Oh."

An awkward silence commenced. The two looked at each other, musing thoughtfully. Deep inside Ciel's thoughts, he was thinking of just eating the cake already. Inside Sebastian's… well, his thoughts cannot be known to the public, for they are horribly demonic and illegally sexy.

After a few more minutes, the silence would have been broken by one of them, but that would be way too cliché. So, the two continued to stare at each other intently in a non-romantic way, much to all the fangirls' dismay.

…

Hey, that rhymed.

"Don't you mean _wolf_ then? As in, the singular form?"

"No. Shut up and skip to grandma's house already."

"Why don't _you_ give it—wait, _skip_?" A horrified expression graced Ciel's face.

"Yes. Now. Go." The valet-slash-mother-figure shoved the younger boy outside, slamming the door shut behind him. However, not before saying, "And remember to watch out for wolves!"

"You mean wolf!" Ciel sighed, but continued on his way, skipping angrily and humming a catchy tune. _Wake up in the morning feeling like P-Finny. Got my red hood, I'm out the door, I'm so tired of this ditty…_

As the young boy skipped girlishly, shaking his abnormally feminine hips here and there, he heard a shuffling from behind him. He rolled his eyes and figured it would be the wolf (aka Alois), because that's exactly how fairytales work. So, ignoring the noise, he continued on with his skipping until he finally reached _its_ house.

Ciel epically barged in, going into a "Stop in the name of hate!" pose. "Grandma, I'm here with your fucking cake!"

There was only silence. So, Ciel decided to walk around, first going to the kitchen to see if _it_ had anything sweet to eat. Unfortunately, all that was present in the kitchen were cakes in the shape of Sebastian's head. The blue-haired boy shivered, the horrible images forged into his head. However tempting the cakes might've smelled, the faces drawn on them… looked all too real. Plus, Ciel would rather not indulge himself in eating his valet-slash-mother-figure's head.

Well, maybe he _would_, but not when _it_ baked them.

Smashing one of the cakes and laughing in satisfaction at Sebastian's ruined face, Ciel uncharacteristically hopped into one of the rooms.

"Grandma?"

Ciel peeked into the room, hearing a scream. Sheepishly, he closed the door and tried to erase the images of Sebastian and Claude having sex ("How the fuck did Sebastian get here anyway? Why didn't he bring the cake for _it_ if he was gonna be going here anyway? Wait, Sebastian's gay? For Claude? What the fuck? Why do I think it's hot? Why am I tempted to jump in for a threesome? Why am I asking all these unnecessary questions? Where the hell is grandma?").

As if the heavens above heard his last question, Ciel stumbled into a room where a frail old lady was sitting on the bed with a serene look on her sick face.

Oh, wait, no—it was only Alois.

"Screw off, you wolf," Ciel barked angrily.

The blonde, feigned innocence glittering in his pale blue eyes, hopped off of the bed and pounced onto the blue-haired boy. "Not before I have a bite of this cake."

Alois was somehow able to tie Ciel up with a magical, invisible stringy thing, and Ciel could only stare hopelessly as the blonde began to rummage around the basket. Upon contact with the delightfully tasty pastry, Alois smiled and pulled it out, setting it in front of him. Ciel, flailing and being so totally unnoticeable in the background, was screaming, "Fuuucckkkkk, my caakkkeeee! Yoouuuu baasstttaaardddd!"

When Alois took a bite of the deliciously tempting blueberry cake, he exploded and turned into a bloody fairy. And then they lived miserably ever after or something.

FIN.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**…the human and Jake the dog. Reversal, yeaahhhh.**

**THE CAKE IS A LIE. THE CAKE IS A LIE. THE CAKE IS A LIE.**

**FFFFFF, when I was thinking of Little Red Riding Hood, I started to think of which Kuro characters would have each role. And that lead me to imagining Alois as the wolf. I seriously cracked up 'cause of their uncanny resemblance, not kidding.**

Ciel: **My, Alois-pretending-to-be-Grell-ma-but-failing-miserably, what a big *censored* you have.**

Alois: **The better to *censored* you with!**

Ciel: **Wait, what?**

Alois: **I said, the better to *censored* you… Aww, *censored* it! Stupid *censored* censors!**

**WHY DO I COME UP WITH THIS STUFF? WHY DO I GIGGLE MADLY AT ENGLAND'S EPIC DUB VOICE? WHY WAS I TOO LAZY TO PUT ANY EFFORT IN THIS? WHYYYYYY~ OTL**

**I just came up with an Alois/Claude story. Yesssss. :D**

**(NO, I'M NOT OBSESSED WITH TIK TOK BY KE$HA.)**


	14. Theme Songbird

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Theme Songbird**

There's 365 days in an entire year  
To torture everyone's soul  
Running around while spreading some fear  
And they only have one little goal

And that is  
Burning those dumb kids  
Or fighting an angel  
Or destroying that weird place Stongehenge

Discovering demons that act like valets (Ole!)  
All for the purpose of revenge

Gushing lots of blood  
Creating contracts  
And locating those poor bastards (They're in France?)

Ruining families  
Eating lots of cake  
And watching men get murdered (How bloody!)

As you can see  
There's quite a lot to do  
To seek out your vengeance

Don't stick with us  
We're Alois and Ciel  
And you'll only be a hindrance

Don't stick with us  
We're Alois and Ciel  
And you'll only be a hindrance

(Madame! Alois and Ciel are murdering people!)

*final electric guitar strum*

* * *

Claude had an Alois  
Sebby had a Ciel  
Claude wasn't proud  
He always wondered why

Ciel.  
Alois.  
Ciel and Alois!

* * *

(Enter at your own risk, past the mahogany doors  
Where insanity ensues and is forbidden to the poor)

In Ciel's well-kept manor  
Lives the cutest boy, though is a brat  
And Alois pouts in envy at the authentic fact  
There is gloom and doom, as we presume  
In Ciel's manor

* * *

KILL KILL FALL IN LOVE  
Ha, ha, ha!

I notice that you're always here  
But it's because of that dumb contract

When you see my feelings, insane or not  
It doesn't matter!

The reason for which people fall in love  
is different for everyone  
All you do is kill  
But

MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE

I want to take you now  
And give you a weird hickey  
A red bloody kiss  
If your heart moves from it  
Let's move to third base

More important than kissing is intimacy  
The delightful deathly love is a blossoming slut's beauty

Ha, ha!  
MAYBE YOU'RE MY LOVE

* * *

(The Trancy house  
And the three brothers!)

While serving breakfast one lone day  
Ton, Chin, and Kan saw something strange  
A weird blonde boy who gouged the eyes of the maid  
They went to clean the blood off her  
As Claude came in the doors, yes sir  
His actions made the triplets fidget and stir  
What's up with him?  
They don't know  
Are they scared now?  
Yes, those three bros

* * *

Ciel the spoiled brat  
(Where's his butler?)  
Ciel the spoiled brat  
(There he is!)

Bard, Grell, and Finny  
And Mey-Rin too  
Lau and Ranmao  
Join the crew  
Pluto and Claude  
Trancy, Hannah  
Plotting together  
To get the job done!

Where's that butler?  
(Ummm...)  
Where's that demon?  
(Whaaat?)

Ciel the spoiled brat  
(Where's his butler?)  
Ciel the spoiled brat  
(There he is!)

* * *

Crazy Little Shota Blondie  
Trancy count it off!  
One, two, three, four!

Trancy!  
Insane little sadist  
Trancy!  
Lives in a big manor  
Trancy!  
Corrupted by a rapist  
Trancy!  
Has a black-clad butler

Trancy count it off!  
One! If your maid stares, then gouge out her eyes  
Two! Never trust people, they're so full of lies  
Three! Always smile in public no matter what  
Four! Deep inside, he's just a strange little nut

One, two, three, four!  
One, two, three, four!  
Crazy Little Shota Blondie

* * *

Next season, two butlers  
And then there's two young masters  
Eye and tongue, their contracts are right there  
They are the next heirs

They are two cuties  
Always getting mistaken for girls  
They both like tea  
And they're also haughty earls

They are two cuties  
Trancy and then there's  
Phantomhive

* * *

SEBASTIAN  
Please desist, you are way too loud

ALOIS  
Well, maybe if this brat here wasn't so proud!

CIEL  
You two are so annoying, so I will now frown

*awkward silence thanks to Claude*

So all four people  
Got into a mad fight  
Punch, kick, stab, kick  
Oh, what a sight

So all four people  
Got into a mad fight  
Punch, kick, stab, kick  
Oh, what a sight

OW!

* * *

My Little Trancy, My Little Trancy  
Isn't he so adorable  
My Little Trancy, My Little Trancy  
Deep inside, he's so horrible  
Dancing and laughing, merrily hurting  
Always amused by other's grief  
My Little Trancy, My Little Trancy  
There's no one he can believe

* * *

There's no need to fear! The Queen's dog is here!

This isn't just an old career  
He isn't one that's very revered  
He kills all and sheds no tears  
But the Queen always asks, all sincere  
For the Queen's dog! The Queen's dog! The Queen's dog! The Queen's dog!

One black eye patch, and a cute pout  
Fighting all until they're knocked out  
The Queen's dog! The Queen's dog!

* * *

Ph-Ph-Phantomhive  
Ph-Ph-Ph-Phantomhive

Ciel the lone Phantomhive  
Cute but a brat  
His black-clad demon butler  
Is obsessed with furry cats

("They're just so cute!")

His mom and dad were both killed in  
A terrible, red fire  
Ciel then was tortured madly  
And now revenge is his desire

Ph-Ph-Phantomhive

Ciel and Sebastian  
They formed a contract  
The won't stop 'til they catch them  
And that is one sheer truthful fact

Ph-Ph-Phantomhive  
Ph-Ph-Ph-Phantomhive  
Ph-Ph-Phantomhive  
Ph-Ph-Ph-Phantomhive

("Yes, My Lord.")  
**.**

**.**

**.**

**LOL COW AND CHICKEN FAIL. I love the theme song so much though. It's catchy. D:**

**So I changed up the lyrics to the Phineas and Ferb theme song a few weeks ago with the intent to write a story about it (Phineas and Kuro crossover, wutwut). But I dunno what to write about. So I'm just posting it here, along with other song parodies I just came up with.**

**List of songs in order and blah blah blah:  
1. Phineas and Ferb  
2. Cow and Chicken  
3. Dexter's Laboratory  
4. Sakura Kiss (Ouran High School Host Club)  
5. Zoboomafoo  
6. Bob the Builder  
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  
8. We Will Be Heroes (11th Pokemon Opening)  
9. Chowder  
10. My Little Pony  
11. Underdog  
12. Dave the Barbarian**

**The next story will be titled "Tweet-light". Hmm, now I wonder what _that_ could possibly be about?**


	15. Tweetlight

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Tweet-light**

My mother rode with me on the carriage with the horses neighing like crazy. It was sixty-nine degrees in London, the sky a hideous, flamboyant orange. I was wearing my usual queer attire—black booty shorts, forest green vest, giant black bow thing… You know, the usual gayness; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a magenta overcoat.

In practically the middle of nowhere, a small suburban town named Penistone exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this not so-suggestive town more than any other place in the entirety of the United Kingdom. It was from this town and its melancholic, boring atmosphere that my mother escaped with me when I was only five or something. It was in this town that I'd been brutally forced to spending a week every Christmas until I was twelve, I guess. That was the year I finally realized I was gay; these past three summers, my dad, Johann, was bent on teaching me the ways of straight-dom. Alas, it only even proved my homosexuality.

It was to Penistone that I know exiled myself—an action that took great horror. I detested Penistone. No, I fucking _hated_ Penistone with a burning passion. I loved London and all its amazingly sexy men. London was my paradise—my dream come true. But, of course, that fairytale shattered into itty bitty bite-size pieces just now as I stand here in front of my new boring house (what? Not a mansion?)—in the middle of fucking Penistone.

"Mother," I said in an aggravated tone, flailing my arms to the side frantically. "Why are we forced to live like peasants? This house does _not_ suit my needs! And where are the gays?"

"Just shut up and go to school, honey-poo-bear-thing," my sweet mom said sweetly, sweetly smiling with her unbearable sweetness, which was so sweet it made me puke sweets. Literally. My mom puked at the sight of my vomit, and in an instant, I—

_SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME RANDOM TIME SKIP FOR THE WIN._

There was only one word to describe this school, and that was big. Or gigantic. Or enormous. Or behemoth. But whatever the case, it all meant the same thing pretty much… and I continued to gawk at the largeness of it. Until, that is, I found another thing to gawk at: a tall, hot, pale guy walking right past me as if I didn't even exist. He gave off a sort of… evil aura that forced people to stay away from him. He held a menacingly monotonous face, and right behind him were people that were practically just the same as him. He stood out for me, though, because my gaydar confirmed to me that he was, in fact, gay.

That was the moment I realized I'm in love with him. Even if I didn't know his name or anything about him. Because, you know, love is all about looks at first sight. Personality? Pfft, I'll deal with that later.

He's just too fucking sexy.

_TIME SKIP AGAIN._

During class, I tried to pay attention to my chemistry teacher as best as I could. But unfortunately, the guy I love sits right next to me in an ironic twist of fate. He never spoke, and he never moved a muscle. But, I could sense he was totally in love with me too.

I continued to stare at him, scrutinizing his every single last feature to the fullest detail. His tawny, topaz orbs of perfection were absolutely, scrumptiously flawless. His cold-looking, white, pallid skin made him look so irresistible… and perfect. His hair—oh, that that wonderful coif!—was a deep midnight of mystery and bounce. His pale lips were perfectly… chapped. And even his loose black shirt (with that one string precariously sticking out on the side) was perfect.

He was the epitome of perfection. And I wanted him in my bed—now. I mean, right after we split some molecules or whatever you do in chemistry.

_ANOTHER SPONTANEOUS TIME SKIP._

We were secluded in the woods, just the two of us, staring intently into each other's eyes. His topaz eyes made me melt, and so did the rest of his flawless body that I would describe right now if I wanted to be annoying and redundant, but I will save that for another time.

"I told you to never talk to me again," the guy who I still didn't know the name of deadpanned, tapping his foot impatiently whilst crossing his big, muscular arms over his, muscular chest. Not that I noticed.

I smirked. "I know what you are. You're unbelievably perfect. And hot. You're perfect, and perfect, and your eyes are topaz, and your skin is pale, and you're perfect, and I don't know your name yet… And you're perfect."

"Say it. Out loud. Say it."

My smirked grew even wider as I said, "P…_ansy_."

TBC.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**I liked the part where Alois was saying how perfect that guy is.**

**I MADE UP ALOIS'S DAD'S NAME. I named him after Alois Hitler's dad, durhurhur. :B**

**I was deciding which town to shove Alois in, and it was either between Crapstone or Penistone. I decided on Penistone. Just. Because. Haha, I'm so glad I did a report on England for GT last year, or else I wouldn't have known about these towns. *sigh* Good times, good times. I got a hundred on my entire report. Powerpoint AND essay. Tee-hee. :3**

**I tried mimicking Meyer's writing style in this one, but failed miserably. Stupid laziness. You can tell I got really lazy with all these random time skips. D: Twilight isn't bad, but it bored me. But that's not really all that surprising since I'm into purple prose, and anything other than that tends to bore me. :P I'm re-reading The Scarlet Pimpernel right now. And I'm also thinking of actually reading The Canterbury Tales. Hurrah, wish me luck. xD**


	16. The Scarlet Ibis

Robin and the Blue Jay

A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**The Scarlet Ibis**

Lady Ciel Trancy gazed solemnly at her reflection, entwining her fingers within each other. There were times where even she, the most intelligent lady of the whole of England, was stumped, contemplating but reaching no liable conclusion. As of now, there was only one mystery that bested her, and that sole mystery seemed to gnaw at her brain incessantly, driving her to the brink of insanity….

_The Scarlet Ibis_.

It was _he _who drove her mad with never-ending musings. It was _he _who that evil fiend, Claudelin Faustus, the accredited agent of the French Republican Government, was straining every fiber of his being to capture. It was _he _who had the ability to steal her heart even though her true sentiments were only to belong to her husband, Sir Trancy. Yet, there he was, taking her heart away from her like it was nobody's business.

Who exactly was the true identity of that enigmatic figure? Who exactly was he, a man who displayed such valor… such wisdom… such witticism? It seemed that he was a character out of a fantasy. Everything felt so _surreal_ whenever it came to The Scarlet Ibis. Could such a fantastic man truly exist?

She yearned to meet him—to splay her undying respect and affection for him—and thank him for his unselfish actions. A man—possibly even an aristo, ha!—would risk his life to save innocent people from the clutches of the French government…? It was unbelievable, yes, but so truly authentic.

However, she felt so selfish. Guilty, even, for she was thinking of a man whom she has only met once. Yet, all the same, she was already thinking of confessing even though she was already married. But that man… that Sir Trancy… her husband… he was a fool. It embarrassed her to be with such an idiotic man.

Sir Trancy was handsome, she must admit, and unfathomably rich. Though, he was a fool, stumbling on words and such, clumsier than even a bull in a China shop, running off for some spontaneous "business meeting" in France even though it was very risky to go at a time like this…

But—

She stopped and blinked, staring at her reflection. There was her childish face, displaying a mixture of confusion, doubt, and maybe a little bit of hope. She stared down at the letter in her petite hand—the one with that little red symbol plastered firmly on: the symbol of the Scarlet Ibis.

She then ran into her home and scurried upstairs, jumping inside her husband's room frantically. She had never actually _been_ in her room before, and she highly suspected everything to be a mess. But, to her astonishment, the room was perfectly organized, save for a few papers on his desk. Otherwise, it was… _neat_.

She walked up to his desk and began rummaging through his belongings, feeling guilty but at the same time hoping to find _something_… Her grip on the letter tightened, her body tensing, and her forehead accumulating sweat. As she continued fishing around in anxiety, she noticed that, from the corner of her eye, a peculiar red item was placed in-between a few sheets of paper.

She bit her lip and reached out for the red embellishment, her head dizzying and her heartbeat racing. It was the same design as the red symbol on the letter.

It all made sense now: why he was such a fool to others… why he was distancing himself from her… why he was going to France at such a bad time… Sir Trancy—no, her very own husband, the one she cared deeply for but was too oblivious to notice… _he_ was the infamous and enigmatic figure who was attempting to save the innocent French aristos. _He_ was The Scarlet Ibis!

And _she_, the most intellectual lady in the whole of England, was stupid enough not to realize it until now!

Though, mentally punishing herself would have to wait, for she knew that her husband was in grave danger… And, though she may put herself in that very predicament in a silly attempt to "save" him, it would be okay.

She knew this wasn't a game. She knew that she shouldn't be "playing around" like a child. She knew the consequences were everlasting if she were to make one false move. But, it was Sir Trancy whom she owed her life to… _No_, it was to her husband she charitably gave her entire being to.

Even though it did take her quite some time to realize it, she was truly… madly… deeply in love with her husband. She wanted him to know that; she wanted to shower him with kisses despite her hatred for displaying affection; she wanted—oh! How she wanted so bad to!—hold him one last time before they meet their demise… _together._

She gathered up the hem of her skirt and called for her dear valet, Sebastian, courageous and vicious intent evident in her baby blue eye. "Sebastian, bring me a schooner, a gun, some cake… and make it quick. We have very little time… We are to depart to France at once, and that is an order!"

* * *

"Odd's fish! I had no idea I would see you again, my dear ol' Claudelin! And in such an eerie place as this."

"You fiend," a tall man—Claudelin, perhaps?—deadpanned angrily, a gun clutched firmly in his hand. It was pointed at the man opposite him—the handsome blonde man. Though, strangely enough, the blonde still grinned madly. "Your secret identity… _You_ are The Scarlet Ibis."

"I am?" the blonde asked in a seemingly genuinely perplexed tone.

The tall man ignored his feigned stupidity and barked harshly, "You have three options. One is to give yourself up to the authorities and face your death like a man." The blonde heaved out an amused laugh at that. "Two… we will fight, right here, and you will die by my own hands." Another bemused bellow. "Or three, I will go hunting for your little Lady Trancy. I have heard that she is on French land. For what reason, I know not, but I assure you, finding her will be easy. Killing her will be humorous. Watching you writhe in pain at the loss of your love… will be absolutely gratifying."

No sound came. The blonde's smile immediately turned sour, his eyebrows furrowing midpoint in a sudden surge of cholera. "She is not a part of this. Leave her be!"

"I will if you choose either option one or two. Either—or."

The blonde placed a single, slender finger on his chin, contemplating Claudelin's "either—or". Then, with a frustrated smile, he said, "I will choose option four: kick your sorry ass to _hell_."

Claudelin's golden orbs widened as he saw the blonde swing a lanky arm towards his face. Slow with reaction, the accredited agent fell back from the immense blow to the cheek, his gun flying out into the air.

Scrambling hastily to his feet, the tall man ran for his gun, which was around a foot away from where he landed. Then, with shaky hands, he pointed his gun towards the incoming blonde, who had stopped abruptly with a terrified looking washing over his face. "I… guess," the tall man said, panting heavily. "You are left with… option six six six: death." And, as he was about to pull the trigger, victory in the palm of his hands, he heard a shuffling behind him that made him lose his focus. Then, he felt something—something hard and solid—on the back of his head. He didn't dare turn around. The blonde gasped.

"Shoot, and I shoot." It was Lady Trancy, who was clad in a very unlady-like outfit consisting of a royal blue tunic and leg-hugging black tights, paired off nicely with some brown high-heeled buckled shoes. "I am not jesting."

"L… Lady… Ciel! My dear!" The brightness radiating from the blonde's pale blue eyes made Ciel's heart ache, her grip on the gun wavering as the blonde began to stride towards her with outstretched arms. However, he stopped in his tracks when Claudelin barked, "Move any further and I will really shoot!"

Lady Trancy tensed. She felt the need to just shoot the agent now and get it over with. But, something inside her did not let her pull the trigger; she has always had others do the dirty work for her. She just could _not_ kill someone like that. It felt absolutely… _wrong_ for her.

But, what else could they do? Just stand around forever with guns to each other's heads? Someone was going to shoot, that much was inevitable.

The only question was… who?

The blonde snickered, pulling Ciel out of her reverie. "Ciel, left, now!"

And, though confused as she was, instinct made her move to her left. Then, she heard it: a _bam!_

It was from a gun.

Frantically, she raised her gun to Claudelin, but gasped at the horrid sight of blood oozing from the tall man's shoulder. By now, he was staggering towards the blonde with gun still intact. The two looked each other in the eye, and Claudelin smiled, raising his fun. "You're… a cheating bastard."

Another bam was heard. That meant another gunshot.

Claudelin now laid on the floor with a self-inflicted gun wound to his head. The macabre scene was horrid; Ciel looked away, feeling as if she would throw up any minute now. The scarring image, however, was later erased from her mind completely—as did the majority of her musings—when she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist.

She stared up and met a lovely ocean of baby blues, smiling sweetly at her husband. "A-Alois…" she murmured softly, melting in his embrace. "Or shall I say… the honorable heroic figure of enigmatic proportions… The Scarlet Ibis?"

"You flatter me so, my dear lady," the blonde drawled sheepishly, tightening his hold on his blue-haired wife. "I am so terribly sorry for lying to you all these years. I just… could not tell you. The league forbid me; I do hope you understand. It was for the better sake of _us_… for France… for the aristos… for the whole of England, too."

"It is quite alright." Then, without warning, Ciel pulled her husband into a temptingly sweet kiss, brushing her angelic=like lips gently against his. The two stayed in this position for quite some time until the blonde pulled away, blushing madly.

"Zounds! Milady, I did now know you had it in you? Were you not the one to proclaim of your hatred for public displays of affection?"

Ciel reddened at the accusation. "Well, yes… That is correct. But, I believe someone of your stature is deserving of it. You have saved millions of lives with only but the sole goodness of your heart. The least I could do is reward you with a kiss, am I correct?"

"Hmm, yes, quite so, milady. However, you were rather brave too, holding that gun to my dear ol' Claudelin's head without a bout of hesitance. That takes a lot of courage, dear." He smirked smugly, trailing his fingertip along the blue-haired girl's soft jawline. "Shall I reward you for that, perhaps?"

Somehow, Ciel's cheeks glowed with an even darker shade of scarlet, if that was even possible. "It depends on what exactly you are thinking about."

The deviously wicked smile plastered on the blonde's face seemed to answer her question, and then some. Sir Trancy lifted his wife into his arms, carrying her bridal style off into the everlasting sunset, hearing nothing but each other's anxious breathing for what awaited their bright future.

Meanwhile, back in the eerie place that was witness to the death of an infamous accredited agent, a strange voice was heard, echoing through the vacancies of the haunting place: _I will get you yet… you damned Scarlet Ibis._

**.**

**.**

**.**

**SAPPY ANGSTY DRAMA FTW.**

**Guess what guys? I just got out of my first day of band camp. And we got let out early! Hurrah. :P It actually isn't that bad, but my back is all sore. Who knew playing the xylophone could hurt this much? (D'aww, my new percussion teacher praised me on my "aggressive xylo playing," which is ironic because my middle school band director _and_ my percussion teacher always told me to be more aggressive with my playing) FFFFF, I need to buy earplugs. The battery section almost killed my hearing… and not to mention, this year's pit is crazy. Our teachers are telling us to play as loud as possible. It's such a weird change from middle school band, where everyone plays as soft as possible. Pfft.**

_**Anyhow…**_

**FFFFFFFF, a hundred and one reviews? This calls for a celebration! PARTEH AT TRANCY'S HOUUUSSEEEEEEE! :D Thanks for everything, guys. You're all so amazing! Your reviews mean a lot to me, really. They motivate me and make me happy, tee-hee. I added some random fluff in there just for you guys. And I'll be writing something nice in the future. Just you wait. *is really happy about the reviews* C:**

**This idea came from "The Scarlet Pimpernel" by Baroness Orczy. It's a really great novel and I highly recommend it to people who like historical stories. And trust me, this rushed version isn't even close to the epicness of the true adventures of The Scarlet Pimpernel. :P**

**Oh, and last note, I promise: Kuro version/Original version  
Lady Ciel Trancy = Lady Marguerite Blakeney  
Sir Trancy = Sir Percy  
Claudelin = Chauvelin  
Sebastian = Sebastian**

**…Ahh, they're so OOC. OTL**


	17. A Little Birdie Told Me

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**A Little Birdie Told Me**

"_A beautiful starlit night had followed on the day of incessant rain: a cool, balmy, late summer's night, essentially English in its suggestion of moisture and scent of wet earth and dripping leaves_," elegantly recited the English teacher, Mr. Kirkland, his voice soft but bellowing with emotions and whatnot. His face held a stern complexion, yet his green eyes were burning with passionate mirth, his slight movements firm and grace.

Mr. Arthur Kirkland was a huge sucker when it came to the subject of anything literary, especially flowery, Victorian style prose. Unfortunately, the rest of the class didn't seem to share his interests, for the vast majority was dwindling in despair of complete and utter boredom.

Amongst his pupils was an exceptionally trite blonde, with a nonchalant line etched onto his face and half-lidded eyelids swaying between his broken pencil and his teacher's fluid movements. His left cheek was firmly planted on his desk, his hands fumbling with every single pencil he could get a hold of. Meanwhile, his poor ears were attempting to drone out his teacher's incessant recitals.

"_For the moment these two young gallants were comfortably installed in the coffee-room, before the huge log-fire, which, in spite of the mildness of the evening, had been allowed to burn merrily…_"

A short, inaudible sigh escaped the blonde's lips. If anything, he just wanted to die right then and there. Suffering through another passage of dramatic and over-descriptive vignettes was something he wasn't too keen on enduring again; boredom was something that was gnawing at his brain, rotting away what little intellectuality he had left. (Has such a thing existed in the first place anyway?)

Another dreary, somewhat melancholic sigh was pried out of the depths of his throat. The blonde stared intently at his thick-browed, pompous, uptight teacher. His gaze then fell underneath his desk, where he had cleverly and discreetly held his iPhone in such a sly, clandestine way, he surprised even himself. The fact that he could hide such a huge phone made him feel even more accomplished.

Stealing another glance at his teacher to reassure himself of his safety, the trite blonde began tapping away on the screen with furious fingers. He had decided to text his best friend, Ciel Phantomhive. After all, the scarily aristocratic dark-haired boy was one of the only people the blonde could say he was close to.

And, well, it was pretty amusing bothering said dark-haired boy during school hours.

**FUCK HEY CIEL!**

As annoying as it seemed, the blonde's all-caps technology-based messages were in honor of Billy Ma—I mean, nobody. He just liked being an irritating little git.

A small smile appeared on his lips when he saw a reply pop up on his screen. Ciel was as taciturn as always:

_Hi._

The blonde smiled wickedly, his fingers dancing across the squeaky clean touch screen. His new text was rather spontaneous, but hey, he was a random boy. Who could blame him?

**YEESH! MR. K IS SO GAY! FUCK, THAT RHYMED! I'M SO FUCKING GOOD AT THIS! TWSS!**

With a satisfactory grin, the blonde happily sent the text message. He then snuck a peek at his babbling English teacher, who still seemed to be oblivious to the blonde's juvenile actions. _Good_, thought he.

The new text message from Ciel had taken a while, much to the blonde's dismay, though once he received it, a shot of ecstasy surged through his veins. Anticipating an epic response, the blonde pressed "View" on the touch screen and read the text message:

_Not that stupid rumor again._

Confusion hit the blonde-and hard. Part of it was because Ciel hadn't mentioned the blonde's epic "that's what she said" moment. But, it was also by the fact that there was apparently a rumor about... Mr. Kirkland being gay? How did he—the gossip whore of Princeton Middle School, aka PMS—not know about this? (Why did the blonde suddenly find himself to be attracted to his strangely attractive homosexual English teacher?)

Why was that motherfucker still reading the same stupid chapter?

Hastily, the blonde typed up a hectic response to Ciel's shocking text.

**RUMOR? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ON A FUCK STICK DIPPED IN FUCK?**

_Apparently, people have been saying that Mr. Kirkland is, in fact, in a very intimate relationship with an American man. I believe his name is Larry or Bob or something of the like._

Wow, an essay-like text... and from Ciel nonetheless. Surprise surprise! Must be some serious shit, the blonde decided flacidly.

**WHAT? DUDE, THAT IS FUCKING HAWT IN SUCH A DISTURBING YET FUCKING EROTIC OLD MAN WAY!**

_You're disturbing._

**THANKS DUDE! I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY AND ALL THAT GOOD SHIT!**

_As always._

**DO YOU THINK THEY FUCKED YET? I BET MR. K TOOK IT UP THE ASS! HE SEEMS LIKE A WHORE! AN UPTIGHT ONE (IN MORE PLACES THAT ONE)! BAHA!**

_I have no opinions._

**OH OK! OH YEAH, WHERE DIDJA HEAR THIS FROM? FUCKING DETAILS, KTHX? THX BABE!**

_Elizabeth Middleford during lunch yesterday. Of course, you were in detention with Mr. Faustus at that time._

**OH YAH, FOR THROWING A FUCKING PENCIL AT THIS SLUT HANNAH'S EYE! BAHA, PRICELESS! I HAD SUCH A GOOD FUCK WITH THAT OLD GEEZER, THOUGH! DAMN! THAT MAN GOT SOME NICE HIP SKEELZ! HELLEN KELLER'S SEXY MAN REINCARNATION, PERHAPS?**

_Do you even know who that is?_

**I DON'T FUCKING KNOW? SHEESH! JUST HEARD IT FROM THIS MOTHERFUCKING ANNOYING 3OH3! SONG! FFF, HATE THAT FUCKING BAND!**

_You were singing "Punk B!tch" in the car yesterday._

**CORRECTION: I WAS SINGING HWC BY LIZ PHAIR YESTERDAY! YOU'RE NOT EVEN CLOSE, YOU SOB! LOL JK ILY CIEL-POO**

(Alois was smirking the entire conversation. Damn, he enjoyed being an annoying bastard.)

_"HWC"?_

**HOT WHITE CUM, DOOD! MY FAVE SONG, DAMMIT!**

_I regret everything._

**SHEESH! SO OPTIMISTIC, ARE WE?**

_Pessimistic._

**WHAT WHAT THE FUCK DUDE? WHAT THE FUCK IS A PENISISTIC? I MADE A FUNNEH, BAHA!**

_Never mind._

**IS IT WEIRD THAT I HAVE HAD COCK ON MY FUCKING MIND ALL DAY?**

_Bye._

**FUCK BYE CIEL! LOVE YA, MAH LITTLE HARP CIEL!**

The demented blonde grinned madly and looked through his friend's list, his eyes brightening up when he saw the name "Lizzy Phantomhive' (he only put that as Lizzy's name to even further annoy his best friend). He stole a reassuring glance at his rambling English teacher ("_The two young men were both bending over_," Mr. Kirkland read amusedly... Wait, what) and went back to his rebellious texting craze.

**FUCK HEY LIZ!**

The girl's reply came almost immediately, much to Alois's enjoyment.

_oh heyyyyyyy alloiisss!11! :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))_

**DIDJA HEAR BOUT THE FUCKING RUMOR?**

_ooohhh u meean th 1 bout mr k and the bloke? :0000000000000000000000_

**WHAT THE FUCK IS A BLOKE. THE FUCK.**

_uummmm i though u were englihs cuz den u shoul no? :?_

**I'M FUCKING GERMAN, GAAAAAAAAWSH! I DUN SEE WHY EVERYONE THINKS I'M A FREAKING LIMEEYYYYY! I DUN U**

Alois accidentally pressed send. He shrugged, hoping that he still made sense.

_o sorry... newai, teres dis rumor tat saiz ur a tart? is dat true? :00000000000000000000000_

Alois contemplated for a moment. Blasted Englishman and their fancy-shmancy slang, he thought angrily. Though, knowing Lizzy, a tart was probably something insanely sweet. Like him. Ha!

**YEAH IM A MOTHERFUCKING TART, BITCHES!**

_ooohhhh dats kewl ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))_

**IKR? BY DA WAI, WHATS A FREAKING TART? SOMETHING SWEET, LIKE ME? HA!**

_tart iz a prostitoot teeheeeeee srry for langage :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((_

**WHAT? HOW DID PEOPLE FIND OUT IM A FUCKING PROSTITUTE? LOL JK, IM NOT! THE FUCKING WORLD IS A LIE! AND DUN WORRY BABES. NO FUCKING HARD FEELINGS. K.**

_thx alis u da 2nd besssttteesssttttttttt :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) i need 2 go now cuz mr sutklif is back from da gealth room sooooooooooo ttfn! 8)))))))))))))))))))))))))))_

**FUUUUUUUUUUCK...bye...**

Alois didn't know whether or not having only two friends he could actually text was a bad thing or a really bad thing. But, either way, he decided to flip through his contacts list again, attempting to find someone else he could possibly bot—

"Mr. Trancy!" The voice was angry—all stentorian and echoed through the entirety of the classroom. Alois cringed slightly, hearing those monstrous footsteps near him. And then, he felt a hard slap on the back of his head (which he liked; not that he was a masochist or anything).

"Phone, _now_," commanded Mr. Kirkland angrily, his hands already outstretched towards Alois. Sighing in defeat, Alois handed him his super special awesome iPhone and grinned.

"Uhh… can I ask you something?"

"Wh-what is it?" stuttered the bushy-browed teacher dubiously.

Alois beamed. "Have you been having sex with a bloke?"

He felt another smack to the back of his head, which was a lot harder than the first time. And then, he heard a strange bear growl emit from the Englishman's throat. "Deten_ttiiioooooonnnnnnnnn_!"

Alois paled.

* * *

"Hi, are you in for detention too?"

Alois looked around frantically, puzzled. "Who?"

"M… M… Matthew!"

The blonde quickly disregarded this so-called "Matthew" and snatched the iPhone buried deep within his pockets (he kept two cell phones or emergency purposes). He quirked an eyebrow when he realized he had just gotten a text from Ciel. Funny, he though suspiciously, he never texts me first.

Alois's eyes widened, his entire face turning red. That Canadian foreign exchange student—wait, who again?—was straining to see what left the blonde so flustered. And, upon seeing the text, the poor timid blonde froze in his spot too, squirming uncomfortably.

The text from Ciel read: Behold. Proof.

And attached? A very graphic picture of Arthur Motherfucking Kirkland riding his blonde, Texan boyfriend (apparently, his name was Alfred F. Jones. Alois assumed the "F" stood for "Fucker").

Alois felt his head getting very light as massive amounts of blood started to cascade down his nose. He always did have a sort of fetish for old and wrinkly penises; he found it strangely kinky. But then his thoughts lingered back to the attachment.

How in the world did Ciel manage to take a picture of those two getting it off? And why, oh why, did Alois have the nagging feeling his friend was jerking off with that black-clad health teacher?

Hmm… Maybe it was just hi—

Upon closer inspection, the blonde kid who claims to be German (Alois) gaped in horror at his latest discovery. The picture was… was… _Photoshopped_!

* * *

**MEANWHILE, UNBEKNOWNST TO ALOIS, IN ROOM TWO-OH-FOUR, AKA THE HEALTH ROOM—**

"Augh, Mr... Michaelis..." Ciel let out, moaning softly at the pleasure-filled euphoria that shot through his body. "Harder!"

The health teacher, Mr. Michaelis, was humming, kneading his hands on the back of his student's back. "This will be the last time I am giving you a massage the entire week, alright?"

"But… Tomorrow is—ah!—Saturday."

"…Oh… Yeah… Shut up, brat."

Ciel was punished after that comment.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Sorry this one's really vulgar. I guess Romano is getting to me. (Have any of you guys watched the Hetalia dubs yet? Gosh, Romano's voice is shmexeh. Arthur's and Francis's laughs are too contagious. And the lines… oh gosh, it's hilarious. I laughed a lot more than the original version, and that's saying a lot. [usually hates on dubs])**

**Yeah, this is another crack-fic. I've been writing too many serious stories lately and needed to tone down a bit. But now I'm getting all stressed out because I've been procrastinating a lot lately. -sigh-**


	18. Loony Bin

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Loony Bin**

**❤ 'Alois Hereforya Trancy **is in a relationship.  
60 minutes ago · Comment · 54 Likes

**Ciel Phantomhive **I am not going to accept this!  
60 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **:(  
60 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**❤ 'Alois Hereforya Trancy **went from being "in a relationship" to "single".  
59 minutes ago · Comment · 659 Likes

**Grell Ifuseekamy Sutcliff **who were u going out wit anyway?  
59 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **CIEL :(  
59 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **IM FUCKING BORED  
57 minutes ago · Comment · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **Stop cursing all the time.  
57 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **YEESH UNLIKE UNLIKE UNLIKE  
57 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ Me and Luddy and Kiku are bored too~  
57 minutes ago · Like

**Grell Ifuseekamy Sutcliff **everyone is bored cept for me and Willy :D  
57 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ommgggggg im supa bored 2 :((((((((((((((((((  
56 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **WANA CUM OVER TO MAH HOUSE? ;)  
56 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ**ummm maybe next time? cuz im hangin out with mayelen 2day  
53 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **THAT'S REALLY HAWT YOU KNOW  
53 minutes ago · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **Shut up and do something productive in your life for once, will you?  
52 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **ILL THINK ABOUT IT  
52 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy ► ****Hannah Anafeloz: **HEY IM FUCKING BORED ENTERTAIN ME

**Hannah Anafeloz ► ****'Alois Hereforya Trancy: **I'm not sure how to, your highness…

**'Alois Hereforya ► Trancy ****Hannah Anafeloz: **YEEESSSHHHH YOUR SO FUCKING USELESS

**Hannah Anafeloz ► ****'Alois Hereforya Trancy: **Sorry, your highness…

**'Alois Hereforya ► Trancy ****Hannah Anafeloz: **AT LEAST TYPE IN FUCKING CAPS LIKE MEH

**Hannah Anafeloz ► ****'Alois Hereforya Trancy: **YES, YOUR HIGHNESS…

**'Alois Hereforya ► Trancy ****Hannah Anafeloz: **BAHAHAA FREAKING AWESOME! NOW GO GET ME SOME JUICE, BEEEETCH

**Hannah Anafeloz ► ****'Alois Hereforya Trancy: **YES, YOUR HIGHNESS…

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **HAS GIVEN BIRTH TO FRAKING TRIPLETS  
49 minutes ago · Comment · 37 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Woah! Who's the father? ;)  
49 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Bloody hell, boy! Have some decency!  
49 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Thompson Tonchinkan **…  
49 minutes ago · Like

**Cantebury Tonchinkan **…  
49 minutes ago · Like

**Timber Tonchinkan **WTF?  
49 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **Gilbo CIEL PHANTOMHIVE DUH ;) Uncle Arthur SORREH, BUT I'M JUST REALLY BROED  
48 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **waiittt but i thought u were a boi? and y cielllll? :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
47 minutes ago · 10 Likes

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol this is rich! more chaos plz thx lol! hahahahaha btw lizzy, alois is srsly a transexul  
47 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Arthur Kirkland **Immature git… Lizzy, this is all just a sad attempt by Alois for some attention. And Alfred, stop contributing to this madness!  
47 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol wutevs old man.. btw can u come ova to my place 2day?  
47 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **No.  
47 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **dang meanie :(  
46 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ**im confuzes now? :((((((((((((((((((((((((((((  
46 minutes ago · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **Alois! What is the meaning of this? And Lizzy, don't listen to a word these idiots say. Please.  
46 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Yo, Ciel! Congrats on the triplets!  
45 minutes ago · 4 Likes

**Ciel Phantomhive **Shut. Up.  
45 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **OOPS SORRY BBY! I FORGOT U WANTED TO KEEP THIS A SECRET AND ALL –blush-  
44 minutes ago · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **You disgust me.  
44 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **LOVE YA TOO SWEETIE CAKES :)  
44 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Hey, am I invited to the baby shower?  
44 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **TOTALLEH  
44 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **byob kk? lol  
43 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **YA KNOW IT ;) (LOL BEER AT A BABY SHOWER IS GENIUS MAN)  
43 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Where did I go wrong with you two…?  
43 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **SORREH UNCLE  
43 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **hey atleast im not lyk francis lolol  
43 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **eh, that hurt :(  
43 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **TWSS  
43 minutes ago · 3 Likes

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **oui oui ;)  
43 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **nice one! oops twss lol!  
43 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **BAHAHAHAH YOUR COOL AL! WANNA CUM OVA?  
42 minutes ago · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Oh, bloody hell, no… Alfred, I change my mind. I will arrive at your house shortly.  
42 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **yessss man lol! were gonna haf so much fun lol! srry alois  
42 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **WHATEVER! ILL JUST GO PLAY WITH MAH TRIPLETS  
42 minutes ago · Like

**Thompson Tonchinkan **…  
42 minutes ago · Like

**Cantebury Tonchinkan **…  
42 minutes ago · Like

**Timber Tonchinkan **WTF?  
42 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy ► ****Romano Vargas: **HEY I HEARD YOU LOOKED LIKE A TOMATO, BUT YOUR PIC IS PRETTY HAWT AND NON-TOMATO-ISH. U SINGLE?  
42 minutes ago · Comment · 6 Likes

**Antonio Fernandez Carriedo **My little Lovi DOES look like a tomato! Sometimes! Here I posted up some pics of him when he does look like one. (And no he isn't single)  
42 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **BAHAHAHAHA HE DOES LOOK LIKE ONE  
42 minutes ago · Like

**Romano Vargas **GAAHHH, CHIGIIIII! YOU TOMATO BASTAAAARD  
41 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **WOAH A FELLOW POTTY MOUTH AND CAPS LOCK ABUSER? I THINK I JUST FUCKING CAME  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Romano Vargas **WTFFF WHY DO I ALWAYS ATTRACT THE FUCKING MESSED-UP PERVERTS?  
41 minutes ago · 53 Likes

**本田菊 **Antonio-san, what do you mean by not single? I was not aware Romano is having an affair with someone…  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Antonio Fernandez Carriedo **I mean that Lovi belongs to MW :)  
41 minutes ago · 16 Likes

**Antonio Fernandez Carriedo ***ME  
41 minutes ago · 9 Likes

**Alfred Fosho Jones **mw? U mean my bro? lolol  
41 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Matthew Williams **Eh…?  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ Congrats fratello~ Congrats Toni~  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Romano Vargas **UGGHHH, I DON'T EVEN LIKE THE BASTARD!  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **this is haaawttt! More more more!  
41 minutes ago · Like

**本田菊 **Ah… Congratulations, Antonio-san, Romano-kun.  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Romano Vargas **IS NO FUCKING PERSON LISTENING TO ME?  
41 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Sheesh, is there gonna be another baby shower in the future? 'Cause I'm kinda running out of beer.  
41 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **DAMMIT I LOVE YOU GIL  
40 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Everyone loves the awesome me. ;)  
40 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **and me ;)  
39 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Romano Vargas **STOP SPAMMING MY FUCKING WALL!  
39 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **Sorry.  
39 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Woah, Mattie! Didn't know you were online!  
39 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **Nobody ever knows…  
39 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Lol, I didn't mean it like that! Geez, everyone, Mattie needs some love!  
39 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **did someone say love? ;) i'm all yours baby  
38 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **DID SOMEONE SAY FUCK? I'M ALL YOURS BABEH  
38 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **You guys crack me up. :D Hey, Mattie, I'm coming over to Al's in a few. Wanna come with? I don't want to disturb his and Arthur's… moments. If ya know what I mean.  
38 minutes ago · 5 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **  
38 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **i dun understnd? :((((((((((((((((((  
38 minutes ago · Like

**本田菊 **You will learn one day, Lizzy-chan. :)  
37 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Matthew Williams **Yeah, I'll go with you. Thanks for inviting me. :)  
37 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **No prob, Mattie! See you in a few!  
37 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **AWWWW HOW FUCKING CUTE  
37 minutes ago · 3 Likes

**Romano Vargas **AWWWW HOW FUCKING DISTURBING  
37 minutes ago · Like

**Romano Vargas **TOMATO BASTARD, YOU'RE DEAD  
37 minutes ago · Like

**Antonio Fernandez Carriedo **:,)  
36 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ ► ****Elizabeta Héderváry****: **haaiiii! :)))))))))))) ii just notice that we both haf the sam name… almost! :))))))))))))))))))))  
37 minutes ago · Comment · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **haha yeaahhhh :) btw, I'm kinda curious… is it true that ur fiancee's butler is a shotacon?  
37 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **shotaconnnn?  
37 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **oh dear…. I think its' about time to teach somene the ways of yaoi ;)**  
**37 minutes ago · Like

**本田菊 **Ah, Elizabeta-san… Not Elizabeth-chan… She is far too young.  
37 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **nonssense! So anyway kiddo, a shotacon is someone whos attracted to little boys. in this case, Sebastian is attracted to Ciel. Amirite or amirite?**  
**37 minutes ago · Like

**本田菊**You will regret this one day, Elizabeta-san…  
36 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ooohhhh welllll…. i haf kinda noticd tat sebby is all toochy feely with ciell….  
36 minutes ago · Like

**Sebastian Michaelis **Is that so? C:  
36 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **haha he's totally a shotacon**  
**35 minutes ago · Like

**Sebastian Michaelis **Ah well… my secret is finally out. Though in my humble defense, Claude Faustus is a "shotacon" too. C:  
35 minutes ago · 5 Likes

**Claude Faustus **He lies.  
35 minutes ago · Like

**Sebastian Michaelis **He lies. C:  
35 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **is shota god?  
35 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ***good  
35 minutes ago · Like

**本田菊 **It depends…  
35 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**  
**35 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **FUCK YEAHHHHHHH  
35 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **CLAUDE. ROOM. FUCK. NOW.  
35 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Claude Faustus **Yes, your highness.  
35 minutes ago · 3 Likes

**Sebastian Michaelis **Kinky demon. C:  
35 minutes ago · Like

**Claude Faustus **Touché.  
35 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **CLAUDE, I'M WAITING –is wearing my shortest shorts right now-  
35 minutes ago · 42 Likes

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **:D  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Claude Faustus **Yes… your highness.  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Sebastian Michaelis **Ooh la la. C:  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **ooh la la ;)  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Co Bonnefoy **ooh la la ;)  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ Ooh la la~  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Romano Vargas **FUCKFUCKFUCK  
34 minutes ago · 6 Likes

**Feliks Łukasiewicz **this is totes epic and like, major gossip material! Ooh la la!  
34 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **ooh la la lol! i just jumpd onto the bandwagon (btw, you killed it romano lol n u posted it 2 times francis lol)  
34 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **OOH LA FUCKING LA  
34 minutes ago · 3 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **-nosebleed-**  
**34 minutes ago · 1 Like

**本田菊 ***doki doki*  
33 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **oooohhhhh i tink I lyk shota now :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
33 minutes ago · 83 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **ALRIGHT**  
**33 minutes ago · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **Lizzy, no!  
33 minutes ago · Like

**Sebastian Michaelis **Young master. C:  
33 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol im so glad artie isnt a shota! fosho lol  
33 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **oh yah btw wuts a shota again lol?  
30 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **HEY PEEPS IM FUCKING BORED  
30 minutes ago · Comment · Like

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy ► ****Ivan Braginski: **BECOME ONE WITH ALOIS? YES OR YES?  
30 minutes ago · Comment · Like

**Ivan Braginski **Will you become one with Mother Russia first, da? ^J^  
30 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **WTF YOU HAVE TO BECOME ONE WITH ME FIRST  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Ivan Braginski **Not going to happen. ^J^  
30 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **FUCKKKK YOUUUUU  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Ivan Braginski **Please do. ^J^  
30 minutes ago · 4 Likes

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **shota?  
30 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **OMG YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**  
**30 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Raivis Galante ***faints*  
29 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Eduard von Bock **LATVIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Eduard von Bock **I mean, RAIVVIIISSSSSS!  
29 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **JUST GOT A MOTHERFUCKING TATTOO ON MAH BOOTY! IT'S A PIC OF THAT HAWT BASTARD ALOIS HEREFORYA TRANSY  
30 minutes ago · Comment · 11 Likes

**Agni Kadar **Prince Soma? When did this happen?  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **JUST TODAY DAMMIT  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Lol, I think teaching Alois how to hack was a bad idea.  
30 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **That's not Prince Soma, by the way. It's Alois. Little hacker in the making. ;)  
30 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **wait… alois hacked me?  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **FUCK YEAH I DID  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **please stop!  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **FUCK NO THIS IS TOO MUCH FUN  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **BESIDES YOUR PASSWORD WAS EASY TO FIGURE OUT  
29 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **I MEAN CURRY LOL WTF? WHO HAS THEIR PASSWORD AS JUST CURRY BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
29 minutes ago · 10 Likes

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol alois… yk, every1 on fb is gonna no wut his pass is now lol ur so mean  
28 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **THANKS AL I REALLY APPRECIATE IT  
28 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **lol this is kinda fun lol! never haxed some1 before… btw this is al fosho jones lol  
27 minutes ago · Comment · Like

**Arthur Kirkland **Bloody git. You ask me to come over, and you fool around on Facebook the entire time I'm here? I'm appalled by your manners.  
27 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **lol sorry artie… ill get off now lol  
27 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **Ve~ This is kinda cool~ Sorry Soma~  
27 minutes ago · Comment · 1 Like

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **Lovi is an adorable little tomato! Buhyoo!  
27 minutes ago · Comment · 6 Likes

**Romano Vargas **SHUT THE HELL UP BASTARD  
27 minutes ago · 1 Like

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **I am one hell of a prince. C:  
27 minutes ago · Comment · 17 Likes

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **The AWESOME ME was here!  
27 minutes ago · Comment · 3 Likes

* * *

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **Hi. :)  
26 minutes ago · Comment · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **who?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol who?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Thompson Tonchinkan **…  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Cantebury Tonchinkan **…  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Timber Tonchinkan **Who?  
26 minutes ago · 1 Like

**本田菊**Eh? Who?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **who?**  
**26 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **FUCKING WHO?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ Who~?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Grell Ifuseekamy Sutcliff **WHOOOO?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **Matthew…  
26 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **WAIT WHO THE FUCK?  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **Matthew! Matthew Williams! Eh, forget about it…  
26 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Wow guys, this isn't funny anymore. Matthew is such an awesome person, and all of you are just douchebags for ignoring him like this.  
25 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Prince Soma Asman Kadar **It's fine, Gil… really, I'm used to it… But thank you. :)  
25 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **No prob. But really, it isn't fine. I'm gonna do something about this, don't worry. :/  
25 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Okay, guys, here goes my rant: I'm seriously extremely tired of all of you douchebags out there (you know who you guys are). I'm not sure where this little "joke" originated from, but it needs to stop, and now. Matthew Williams is possibly the best person out there, and is much nicer than that mofo of a brother of his. He may seem a little shy at first, but once you get to know him, you'll soon find out that he's just as talkative as the awesome me. And, that's saying a lot. He also has the best maple syrup out there and IthinkIpossiblylovehim. Give him a chance, stop with the jokes, and get over yourselves. If I see one more person joke around with him one more time, I will personally invade your vital regions (FIVE METERS OF HOTNESS RIGHT HERE) and destroy every single fiber of your stupid little body. I'll bring my bro with me, too, and he's a lot more intimidating than the awesome me when provoked enough, trust me. Matthew Williams: Hopefully this will take care of it. ;)  
22 minutes ago · Comment · 275 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **DON'T YOU EVEN DARE "TL;DR" THIS, OR THE SAME THREAT APPLIES.  
22 minutes ago · 10 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Woah, that's like, a fifth of my entire friends list.  
22 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Matthew Williams **Thank you, Gil. :)  
22 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **HEY WAIT A MINUTE, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT  
22 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **What?  
22 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **"IthinkIpossiblylovehim"… DUDE YOU'RE FUCKING GAY AND YOU NEVER TOLD ME?  
22 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **It's on my profile…  
21 minutes ago · Like

**Matthew Williams **-blushes- I'm flattered, really. :)  
21 minutes ago · 5 Likes

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol my bros gay!  
21 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **YOU SHOULDN'T BE TALKING AL, BAHAHAHAHAHA  
21 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **yeah wutevs… im not gay lol  
21 minutes ago · 23 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Keep telling yourself that…  
21 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ That's really sweet, Gil~  
19 minutes ago · Like

**本田菊 **Hai. Very. :3  
19 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **shota?  
19 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **well… sorta… xD It's more like yaoi**  
**19 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **yaoi?  
19 minutes ago · 16 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **get on fb chat xD I'll tell you everything u need to know darling ;)**  
**19 minutes ago · 5 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **FUCKING HOT LEZ INNUENDO AGAIN  
18 minutes ago · 1 Like

* * *

**Feliciano Vargas ****Ludwig Beilschmidt: **Ve~ Ludwig~? :3  
18 minutes ago · Comment · 1 Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **What is it, Feliciano?  
18 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **You haven't been a part of any of the convos, so I was wondering where you were~  
18 minutes ago · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **I have nothing to say, that's why.  
17 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Yeah, all he does is lurk around and stalk your Facebook profile all day, Feli. :P By the way, West, have you seen my Matthew is awesome rant?  
17 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **That is not true! I do not stalk Feliciano! And yes, I have seen your rant.  
17 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Ve~ I stalk your profile though, Luddy~ :V  
17 minutes ago · 3 Likes

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **That…  
17 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **"…is awesome, Feli! I have to admit, I stalk your profile, too. And, as much as I don't show it, I really do enjoy your cheery self and would love to see if you would become my boyfriend?" That's what West wanted to say to you, Feli. Just to let you know. :P  
16 minutes ago · 11 Likes

**Romano Vargas **CHE PALLE! FUCKING POTATO BASTARD! YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH MY BROTHER WITH YOUR PERVY HANDS! CHE!  
16 minutes ago · 5 Likes

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **That was not even me! I do not love Feliciano!  
16 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Wait… wha…?  
16 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **YEESSSHHHHH OUCH  
16 minutes ago · 1 Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **THIS IS GETTING SO FUCKING DRAMATIC  
16 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **Really, shut up now, Alois. Let them talk in peace without your incessant babbling.  
16 minutes ago · 7 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **YEAH WHATEVEER  
15 minutes ago · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Feliciano… What I meant to say was, I do not wish for you to become my boyfriend. Err, I mean, maybe it would be nice if you did, but I am not going to force you to do things you would rather not do… Err, rather, what I am trying to say is… that I do truly respect you, Feliciano…  
15 minutes ago · 6 Likes

**Herr Stick **how sweet  
15 minutes ago · 54 Likes

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Herr Stick?  
15 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **HERR STICK?  
15 minutes ago · Like

**Feliciano Vargas **Herr Stick~? Ve~? What are you doing here~?  
15 minutes ago · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Feliciano, Herr Stick is an inanimate object…  
15 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol u gaiz are weirdos  
14 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **LOL SHADDUP AL! U SHOULDN'T BE TALKING!  
14 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **LOL WTF THIS IS GETTING CONFUSING! IDK WHO THIS HERR STICK EVEN IS LOL  
13 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Geez, you guys…. Feliciano just came over, and now West and him are having a little bit of… alone time in West's room. I don't know what the hell they're doing, but I just heard some humping noises.  
13 minutes ago · 85 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **I mean, THUMPING. Sheesh, guys. Just one typo and you guys go all perverted. xD  
12 minutes ago · 2 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **BAHAHAHAHA BEST TYPO IN THE WORLD  
12 minutes ago · 1 Like

* * *

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ummmmm i just watchd my 1st yaoi…  
9 minutes ago · Comment · 77 Likes

**Ciel Phantomhive **Lizzy! No, why?  
9 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **BAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK THAT IS EPICALLY HILARIOUS  
9 minutes ago · Like

**Raivis Galante **ummm… I just looked up yaoi on google images… *faints*  
9 minutes ago · 26 Likes

**Eduard von Bock **RAIVIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSS! D:  
9 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Sheesh, I bet this is all Elizabeta's doing, huh?  
9 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ummmmm yeeaahhhhh…  
9 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **shut it gil! How was it lizzy honey? Likey or no likey?**  
**9 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ummmmm…  
9 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ummmmm…  
9 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy ***PLAYS FUCKING DRAMATIC MUSIC*  
8 minutes ago · 8 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt ***plays epic fail music*  
8 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **ummmmm…yah  
8 minutes ago · 49 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**  
**8 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **we're officially yaoi fangirl buddiesssss! :D**  
**8 minutes ago · 9 Likes

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  
8 minutes ago · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **I hate you guys. :/  
8 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **lol hey wuts yaoi newai?  
8 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **LOL YOU SHOULD KNOW AL  
8 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **al, I texted u a pic**  
**7 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **k thx liz lol  
7 minutes ago · Like

**Alfred Fosho Jones **wait…WTF DATS ME AND ARTIE!  
7 minutes ago · 66 Likes

* * *

**Peter Rockitpawnch Kirkland **is suspicious! jerk arthur juss kame bck home…n hes all red n his hair is uglierrr tan before n theres dis red mark on his neck…  
5 minutes ago · Comment · 17 Likes

**Elizabeta Héderváry **PICS OR GTFO**  
**5 minutes ago · 65 Likes

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **yeahhhh pix plzz! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  
5 minutes ago · 43 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **BAHAHAA I THINK I KNO WHAT HAPPENED  
5 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **BTW COME OVER TO MAH HOUSE  
5 minutes ago · Like

**Peter Rockitpawnch Kirkland **k…ne thing to get away from da weird jerk… hes freaking me out rite now…  
5 minutes ago · Like

* * *

**❤ Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **is in a relationship with **Matthew Williams**.  
3 minutes ago · Comment · 333 Likes

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **HAHAHAHA CONGRATS DUDE  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeta Héderváry **YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**  
**3 minutes ago · Like

**Elizabeth Middleford ****ツ **YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS**  
**3 minutes ago · 1 Like

**Grell Ifuseekamy Sutcliff **congrats!  
3 minutes ago · Like

**William Tease Spears **Congratulations.  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Ludwig Beilschmidt **Ich gratuliere, Bruder.  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Antonio Carriedo Fernandez **¡felicidades, mi amigo!  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Thompson Tonchinkan **Congrats.  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Cantebury Tonchinkan **Congrats.  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Timber Tonchinkan **Congratulations!  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Francis Bonnefoy **Oui, congrats ;)  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Sebastian Michaelis **Congratulations. C:  
3 minutes ago · Like

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **Thanks guys. We're really happy together. :)  
2 minutes ago · 65 Likes

**Matthew Williams **Yes we are. :)  
2 minutes ago · 87 Likes

* * *

**❤ 'Alois Hereforya Trancy **is in a relationship.  
1 minutes ago · Comment · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **DAMMIT GUYS LIKE/COMMENT PLZ  
1 minutes ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **GUYS? WHERE DA FUCK ARE YOU GUYS?  
57 seconds ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **HELLOOOOO? EARTH TO FB?  
36 seconds ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **FIIIIIIINE… GEEZ, I'LL STOP FOR TODAY KK?  
12 seconds ago · Like

* * *

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **OH YAH BY DA WAI I GAVE MY CHERRY TO CIEL  
9 seconds ago · Comment · 975 Likes

**Gilbert Gilbo Beilschmidt **The fruit or…?  
8 seconds ago · Like

**'Alois Hereforya Trancy **;)  
6 seconds ago · Like

**Ciel Phantomhive **!  
1 second ago · Like

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Poor Soma. :,(**

**(YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THIS TOOK ME TO WRITE. STUPID LEET. THIS TOOK UP 23 PAGES, WTF. I tried to make it as real-looking as possible, so yeah. Sorry for the weird formatting. OTL)**

**Yeah, I slowed down time. It's my new superpower. C:**

**If you don't get it, I'm kinda making a pun out of Alois's name. To me, it kinda sounds like, "Always" so "Alois Hereforya" is "Always here for you". ;)**

**Sorry for the plethora of Hetalia characters. This seems more like a Heta fic than a Kuro fic. AUGHHHHHH. xD I enjoyed writing those PruCan moments though. Love them so much. C:**

**By the way, I'm planning on writing a sort of Heta/Kuro crossover with Elizabeta teaching Elizabeth the ways of yaoi. I'm wondering if anyone would be interested in that? And if so, which pairings? (I SUPPORT ALOIS/PETER and ALOIS/RAIVIS OTL) xD**

**(Sheesh, I need to stop drowning myself with so much work…)**

**EDIT: Wow, the original formatting got messed up. :/**


	19. Happy Birdday! Part 1

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Happy Bird-day! Part 1**

Sometimes, buying that perfect birthday present for your special someone was near impossible. Especially considering if your "special someone" denies your intimate relationship with them, is constantly avoiding you wherever and whenever, and seems to be gravely unimpressed with anything and everything.

Unfortunately, Alois was subject to this living nightmare; his (too-in-denial) boyfriend's birthday was just a day away, and the poor blonde had been pulling his hair right from the roots for weeks now just to try and find that _one _gift that would please his object of affections. He had to have thought up of every possible item, from an intricately-decorated tea set to his favorite French sabre to even a simple kiss (and, if the moment was right, a steamy make-out session to exercise their lip and tongue action). _Nothing_ seemed to work.

The tea set? His boyfriend already had possibly close to about a million of every kind of tea set imaginable. And, even then, the blonde's frumpy boyfriend was filthy rich. Buying one wouldn't be out of the question for his boyfriend, and Alois acknowledged that fact immediately. So obviously, the tea set was out of the question.

With the French sabre, which had been handed down the Trancy household since long before time itself, Claude wasn't too keen on giving away such a prized family heirloom. Alois, too, was irked by the idea. Not that he was selfish or anything, but the sword had been in his household for quite some time, and he was well aware of the significance it had for the Trancy's. Also, giving his boyfriend a pointy object would definitely not be a good idea and would only prove to give Alois a one-way ticket to the hospital. (Alois admit he shivered slightly at the thought; wouldn't want another "accidental stabbing" happening like last time's game of fencing with his boyfriend, now, would we?)

The kiss… as tempting as it sounded, Alois knew his boyfriend would be very much opposed to the idea of public displays of affection. Even _private_ displays of affection were off limits! Which meant nothing along the lines of kissing, fondling, caressing, hugging, touching, and so on and so forth, even in the depths of their own auricular hiding spot (that no one knew about save for themselves). And even though the blonde found it practically irresistible to not be able to do something sweet and romantic with his boyfriend, he had to constantly remind himself of one important thing: Alois was trying to please his boyfriend, not make him stray away any further from the blonde. Their relationship already seemed to be like a thread of silk, ready to snap any minute now with even the slightest of pressure…. Alois definitely did not want that happening any time soon—err, rather, if at all, in the future.

And yes, although a lack of a birthday present would not inevitably "doom" their relationship, Alois wanted to show his boyfriend that the blonde at least cared and thought about him. But oh, was it difficult to find something that would even be fairly decent; Alois was even shooting for the _perfect_ present. Not average, not mundane, but absolutely flawless.

Alois grunted softly in frustration and tried to smooth out the choleric wrinkles gathering in-between his eyebrows. He looked at his list of possible birthday present ideas, and sighed dejectedly upon seeing that all of the items were crossed out hastily.

_Ugh, back to the drawing board… for the umpteenth time._

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**(If you didn't know, this is a modern-day AU.) Gosh, I haven't written anything cute in such a long time! In fact, it seems like I haven't written _anything at all_ in such a long time. I feel really rusty. I'm really sorry that I rushed, too; I just really wanted to get this out today. Band camp is over, though, so yay!**

**Guess what? My birthday's tomorrow (and part two may be out tomorrow _if_ I have enough time and inspiration to write)! I'll be turning _fifteen_, yes! :) That said, the day after tomorrow will be the first day of high school for me. Haven't bought any school supplies yet (:P) so I'll be having a hectic last-minute shopping spree tomorrow. I'm sorta scared about high school and trying to get from class to class on time. Also, I'm really worried about the work, especially considering I'm taking band _and_ all AP classes _and_ have major troubles with being distracted frequently and whatnot. I'm hoping I won't have too much work. I mean, as long as I have free time to just chill and write, I'll be a-ok. I guess. (My first football game is on Friday, ehmahgawsh. XD)**

**Oh, and also, I'm gonna be jumping onto the "(random number) reviewer gets a oneshot written by me!" band wagon and say that the 333rd (baha, half evil!) reviewer will get a free oneshot… written by me. LAWLZ. I know it's a long time away, but that'll give me some time to take a short break from writing and work on school for a while. :P**


	20. Booby Hatch

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Booby Hatch**

_I pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy—_

Aloisia twirls around in a beautiful translucent cardigan, underneath a simple black strapless bra, and a pair of completely white super short micro mini skirt. She shakes her booty energetically in front of the mirror, a pink sparkly lip glossed grin plastering itself onto her face.

_Just like all my thoughts, they always get a bit naughty—_

Though she likes being modest, she can't help but think that she is abso-_fucking_-lutely hot. And, from the looks of her best girl friend Ciel, she can tell that the blue-haired cutie has the same exact thoughts the blonde has. Cheekily, Aloisia slightly wiggles her thinly-waxed blonde eyebrows suggestively at her best girl friend, gesticulating at some "action" by inserting her index finger through the o-shape she created using her other hand. Ciel looks completely flustered and offended, looking away. Aloisia lets out a menacing giggle, relishing in the blue-haired girl's hilarious ruddy face.

_When I'm out with my girls, I always play a bit bitchy—_

"Hey, Ciely-kins," the blonde drawls out in a low whisper as she puts an index finger under her best friend's chin. A plethora of excited spasms surge throughout the blue-haired girl's body, but she tries to keep on her best nonchalant façade. Aloisia, again, giggles maliciously and lifts Ciel's chin upwards. The blonde breathes slow breaths onto her friend's face, eliciting even more shivers from the poor blue-haired girl. "Don't get all mad and shiz, but I totes have some major gossip material. About your little Sebby-dear."

"_Sebastian_?" Ciel regains her composure quickly, gingerly slapping her ostentatious blonde friend off of her, and frowns slightly. "We're not even dating right now. We told each other we wanted a break."

Aloisia grins knowingly. "I know. But apparently, the only reason Sebastian suggested that was because he was cheating on you."

"_Cheating_ on me?" Ciel looks at her best friend with wavering disbelief. "N-nonsense. Sebastian is very loyal."

"Oh, that's what I thought about Claudey-poo, too. But guess what? Out of some ironic twist of fate, Sebs was cheating on you with _Claude_, and Claude was cheating on me with _Sebs_."

"_What_?" Ciel looks close to breaking point, but she tries to regain her composure again. "You don't have any proof."

As if rehearsed religiously, Aloisia flips out her sparkly iPhone 4 and shows Ciel a picture of Claude and Sebastian, their ex-boyfriends, in a rather… erm… _risqué _position. (Or, in other words, Sebastian was on top of Claude, and they were both naked and sweaty, and—oh, the mental image should suffice for now, right?)

Ciel faints. Aloisia giggles and stares at her amazing self in the mirror again.

"_Can't change the way I am. Sexy, naughty, bitchy me_," she mumbles to herself innocently, sticking out her tongue. Damn, she's good.

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**Yum, femslash. :D**

**I'm really sorry for neglecting this, but I guess I've just lost all interest in Kuroshitsuji. I still haven't finished it yet, though, but I'll think about watching the rest of the episodes over the summer or something. It's kind of weird how it is now, because I remember pining over each episode every single week, and I would squeal with delight at every second of every episode. Ahh, good ol' times. I do miss the fandom somewhat. Nostalgia is a drug for me. XD**

**Song is "Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy" by Tata Young. The moment I heard this song, I immediately thought of Alois. ;D**


	21. Happy Birdday! Part 2

**Robin and the Blue Jay  
**A series of drabbles revolving around Ciel Phantomhive and Alois Trancy.

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**Happy Bird-day! Part 2**

To Ciel, birthdays had always been complete and utter nuisances to him. All the "holiday" (which he thought was peculiar on how it happened every single day of the year, yet only happened once a year for a single individual) was useful for was to congregate cheap, store-bought items from people and shove the paraphernalia in your attic to rot and dust away.

That was a pet peeve of Ciel's. Every single year on his birthday, he would receive a plethora of gifts from acquaintances, friends, and Lizzy. Every single year, it seemed like he always ended up receiving multiples of every tea set out there for some unknown reason. Did he exuberate the aura of a haughty, aristocratic tea set collector?

Well, maybe he did in a way, but that does not help matters any! Aside from the numerous and unvaried tea sets, Ciel also seemed to get ice sculptures, mostly from Lao so he could get a laugh and tell Ciel that, "Sorry, but it seems that your present has melted; but oh, it was truly beautiful when it was frozen," and Ciel would just sneer per usual.

This year, Ciel had no hope for an exactly grand present. In fact, he couldn't have really cared. The only thing was, this year was to be the first year that Ciel and his boyfriend will be celebrating it together, in the Phantomhive mansion, all alone. Ciel was somewhat curious as to what Alois would be buying him. An extravagant yacht? Hundreds of those said yachts? The chocolate factory down the street? A pyramid in Egypt?

_Though_, Ciel mused, _knowing Alois he would buy my an ice sculpture of us naked. Typical Alois..._

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**The third installment of this will be the last of the "Happy Bird-day" series, and it will definitely be full of Cielois fluff. Not that this drabble series lacks it or anything. :3**

**The Kuroshitsuji fandom looks like it's waning, and it's really making me sad. What happened to everyone?**


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